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Don’t be an Eliphaz

March 2, 2007 in Ethos, Ministry, Resources with Comments Off

Last night I was going through some of my files on teenagers and grief. I came across this article from Youth Specialties written by Renee Altson. The main thrust behind the article is walking students through the process of grief and disappointment and frustration with life sans the pat answers.

As ministers we like to have answers-the right answers.

People expect us to have answers-the right answers quickly.

As Alston says in the article, we are a culture of quick fixes. While I’ve only been doing ministry for a handful of years, I know that nothing in this life or in adolescence or in the journey of faith comes quick and easy. Pains aren’t quickly forgotten. Wounds don’t heal over night. Blurbs about faith and purpose and God’s will ring hollow in the ears of teenagers dealing with loss.

The youth pastor patted me on top of the head—not with tenderness, but with a dismissive, condescending motion. Tap-tap-tap. Tap-tap-tap. “Just remember,” he said, “God causes all things to work together for good. God won’t give you anything that you can’t handle.”

I wiped away the tears that had started to form and forced a smile. Walking away, I thought, “Dude, you have no idea what I’m going through. I don’t even know if there is a God anymore.”

We live in a world of instant gratification. We can have almost anything we want on demand. Fast food, fast Bible lessons, fast relationships—everything comes with a money-back, feel-good, 30-minutes-or-less guarantee.

Today’s Christianity has bought into that kind of mentality,as well. Got a broken heart? Jesus can fix it. Feel overwhelmed by sadness? Cast all your cares on him. Feeling stuck between two decisions? Just trust and obey.

What are we offering our students when we give them pat answers and tired clichés? Are we teaching them that we buy into the notion of instant pleasure and quick fixes? Are we setting them up for a life of disappointment and doubt?

The pat answers given to me throughout my lifetime, particularly during my adolescent years, almost did me in. They brought guilt and shame—a sense of never being good enough, of never being godly enough. I struggled constantly with these quick fixes that just didn’t work for me. I’d confess, repent, and accept Jesus into my heart—I really would. And nothing would feel any different. So I’d do it again, repeatedly confessing and repenting in an attempt to feel the answers that were supposed to be there. I’d pray for hours, asking Jesus into my heart again and again. Why didn’t he fix me? Why didn’t God give me strength? What was I doing wrong?

In the end, swamped with frustration and sadness, I didn’t blame God or suddenly decide it was Jesus’ fault. I blamed myself.

One of the problems with pat answers is that they’re usually taken straight from Scripture and therefore contain some element of truth—enough truth to distort; enough truth that, when offered, seems real.

We don’t offer lies to our students, we offer half-truths. We offer the resurrection without the agony of the cross. We offer the ascension without the garden of Gethsemane. And we end up with students with half-truth lives—students who won’t know how to survive the difficulties they face; students with weak faith that is easily uprooted by winds of disappointment and doubt.

What can you do to help ground your students? How do you get beyond pat answers? Do you even want to?

Face Pain

You must befriend the reality of hurting people; you must acknowledge some wounds that are so big they may make you ask, “Why, God?” and even “God, are you there?”

One of the problems with Christians is that we feel we must constantly defend our faith so zealously, we don’t know how to let God handle the huge issues. We try to minimize our situations and lives so we don’t need a big God. Big pain requires a big God.

Embrace Unknowing

A million years of theology doesn’t speak to the heart like a genuine “I don’t know.” And let’s be truthful—there are some things we don’t know.

We can guess. We can come up with alliterative phrases that describe the atonement, the purpose of sin, the meaning of redemption; but when it comes to this student in this moment in this situation, we all too often just don’t know. Pretending that we do leads to pat answers and dishonesty.

Allow for Process

There’s a lot of pressure in the church to be okay. It’s subliminal, from upraised hands during the worship chorus to kneeled moments during the altar call, but it exists.

Many people will expect you to fix the hurting kids in your ministry. After all, you’re the youth pastor. But it’s important not to rush the process. We don’t serve a God who expects us to be put together; we serve a God who suffers with us in our sufferings, who weeps with us in our sorrow.

Listen

Sometimes the best words are no words at all. A lot is unsaid in those quiet, intimate moments. Much is conveyed in quiet breathing and simple sharing of space. And in that silence, you won’t damage someone’s heart. You won’t minimize his pain or tell him what you think he needs to hear or what you want to say.

Just be with her. Be with her without feeling a need to fix her. Listen to the cries of her heart. Offer them up to God.

Pat answers are dangerous. They minimize our God and they minimize us. They turn our religion into something that God never intended. And they diminish our light.

I’ve been reading through the book of Job this week.

What has struck me is how quickly Job’s “friends” resort to offering up the pat answers. One minute they are they sitting quietly and comforting Job (11-13) and the next minute they are offering up “explanations” and “remedies” for the cause of Job’s calamities.

I know why Job’s friends felt the need to speak up. I’m sure that the silence was deafening. The weight of the situation often compels us to speak. We have a need to rationalize and explain away things that we can’t/won’t understand.

Grief is hard enough without us adding the pain and shortsightedness that pat answers bring. Teenagers feel everything so deeply. Walk them through it slowly.

I can’t explain the reason behind what happened to those students yesterday in Alabama or what happened to those basketball players in Atlanta this morning.

What I can do is offer a shoulder for crying, an ear for listening, and a whisper for a prayer.

When people are dealing with grief and junk that the world has dumped on them I am reminded of the words of St Francis of Assisi:

Go into all the world and preach the gospel and use words if necessary.

Time over quickness. Walking over running. Presence over pat answers.

link

Providing Answers AND Questions

February 21, 2007 in Books, Discipleship, Faith in Action, Leadership, Ministry, Questions, Resources, Theology, Youth Ministry with Comments Off

Part of my job as a youth minister is to create an enviroment where teens can feel free to ask questions and a place that helps them answer their questions. While reading Youth Ministry Mutiny by Greg Stier, the protagonist provided 30 questions that his youth ministry centered all of their teaching around. The minister said that, “Every teen and adult should know, live, and own the answers to these questions as a result of our ministry in their lives.”

Here they are:

  • Who is God and what is He like?
  • What is the Trinity?
  • Who is Jesus?
  • Why did he die on the cross?
  • How do I know he really rose from the dead?
  • Who is the HS and what does He do?
  • How do I get plugged into the power of the HS?
  • Is the Bible really God’s Word and how does it apply to my life?
  • What is truth and can I know it with certainty?
  • What is sin and how does it impact my life and my relationships with others?
  • Why does God allow evil in this world?
  • What is a Christian and how does a person become one?
  • If Jesus is the only way to Heaven, are all other religions wrong?
  • What about people who have never heard about the Gospel?
  • What is the Great Commission and how does it relate to me?
  • Is the really a heaven and a hell and what are they like?
  • Is there a judgement day and what difference should it make in my life?
  • Can I really be forgiven for all my sins, even the really bad ones?
  • Will God ever leave me or forsake me?
  • Who are Satan and his demons?
  • How do I engage in spiritual warfare?
  • What is Church and why should I be involved?
  • What are spiritual gifts and how do I discover mine?
  • How should the return of Christ impact my life?
  • What is prayer and how do I do it?
  • Why should I study my Bible and how do I do it?
  • How do I defend my faith?
  • Who am I, where did I come from, and what is my purpose?
  • Which is true creation or evolution, and why does it matter?
  • How can I worship God in everything I do?

As I looked over these 30 questions I felt like they covered just about everything I’ve tried to pass along to my students. Of course this list isn’t/shouldn’t be exhaustive but they gave me a great jumping off point. What do you think? Anything you’d add? Anything you’d take away?

My Great Change

January 31, 2007 in Discipleship, Faith in Action, Film & Theology, Heroes, Leadership, Ministry, Politics, Resources with 1 Comment

Monday night I headed over to downtown Ft. Worth for a screening of the newest film from Walden Media, Amazing Grace.

The film tells the story of William WIlberforce.

Wilberforce was a member of British parliment near the end of the 18th century and early part of the 19th century. In 1784, a “great change” occured in his life. He became a Christian.

This “great change” influenced the way he lived and lit a new fire in his belly. Wilberforce set out to abolish slavery in all of the British Empire. It became his all consuming passion. He dedicated the rest of his life to this end. Friends were lost and enemies were made but he never gave up. For 34 years, he continued to push for an end to the “horrors of the slave trade.”

Three days before he passed away, Parliment passed the Slavery Abolition Act, freeing all slaves within the Brish empire.

One man. One Faith. One Pursuit. Millions of lives changed.

While watching the film I was struck by the thought that one person can make a lasting difference in the world. I used to believe that as a kid but somewhere along the way that belief turned into merely a pipe dream.

My least favorite sentances in the world are:

“It’s always been this way.” and “We’ve never done it that way.”

Those are the two biggest lies that cripple young dreams and vibrant life. Well, I’m not buying it anymore.

Yesterday I read Amazing Grace in the Life of William Wilberforce by John Piper. It was a great little read. It is under 80 pages so you could read it in about an hour. It again drove the point home to me: One person can make a difference.

The movie was very good and I am hoping to promote it with my teens and their families. The film opens on February 23. You can go to the film’s website to see where it will be playing in your area.

The Emotionally Helthy Church Begins With… (Pt 2)

December 6, 2006 in Book Review, Discipleship, Leadership, Ministry, Resources with Comments Off

The Emotionally Helthy Church Begins With… Me.

More from The Emotionally Healthy Church by Peter Scazzero:

Our churches are in trouble, says Scazzero. They are filled with people who are
  • unsure how to biblically integrate anger, sadness, and other emotions
  • defensive, incapable of revealing their weaknesses
  • threatened by or intolerant of different viewpoints
  • zealous about ministering at church but blind to their spouses’ loneliness at home
  • so involved in “serving” that they fail to take care of themselves
  • prone to withdraw from conflict rather than resolve it

In Chapter 4 Scazzero provides the reader with a spiritual/emotional maturity inventory questionaire. The inventory is broken into 2 parts. Part A includes questions that help the reader work through general formation and discipleship issues. Part B looks at the emotional componants of discipleship and is broken into sub-sections (For section titles see chapter breakdown below).

While I scored fairly well on each componant, I was able to see gaping holes where a higher maturity level will help me become a better disciple of Christ and a more healthy leader in the church. I do not want to become just another statistic of a burnt out minister who takes those around me down as I flame out. I don’t want my peers to experience this either. We are the body of Christ. Let’s change the statistics.

The rest of the book is brokendown into chapters that corespond with the 6 emotional componants of discipleship from Part B of the Spiritual/Emotional Maturity Inventory:

  • Look Beneath the Surface
  • Break the Power of the Past
  • Live in Brokenness and Vulnerability
  • Accept the Gift of Limits
  • Embrace Grieving and Loss
  • Make Incarnation Your Model for Loving Well

I Wasn’t Offended By the Post But…

November 29, 2006 in Leadership, Life Draining Schlock, Ministry, Resources with Comments Off

I know people who gripe and complain that would be.

Scott Adams has a great post today over at the Dilbert Blog about fault-finders that commonly write to say that a particular post/strip might, possibly, even the slightest, perhaps, very likely, could offend someone. Of course the ones writing the angry letter wasn’t offended but they know someone who would be.

The post points out how frustrating and potentially damaging random, inconsistant criticism can be. Like, Adams sometimes the disparaging comments and emails that ministers recieve fall into this same catagory.

The post is worth a read if you get the time today. Check it out.

link

Note Worthy Ingenuity

August 19, 2006 in Resources, The Word with Comments Off

Most Bible scholars and ministers have heard of Johnathan Edwards’ famous Blank Bible.

In 1730, Jonathan Edwards acquired a book-like, leather-bound manuscript containing an interleaved printed edition of the King James Version of the Bible. Over the next three decades, Edwards proceeded to write in the manuscript more than five thousand notes and entries relating to biblical texts.

Here is a photo of Edwards’ Bible:

Inspired by this, Tony Reinke at The Shepherd’s Scrapbook decided to make his own version of the perfect journaling Bible.

Part 1 details the genesis of the idea and the first steps toward completeing the task.
Part 2 reads alot like Edison and the light bulb. He didn’t fail, Tony just found ways that wouldn’t work.
Part 3 Hazah! Success and beauty all spiral bound together.

Looks like I’ve got some Christmas presents to work on! Thanks Tony!!!

Via

New Testament and the People of God 1

August 3, 2006 in Books, Ministry, Religion, Resources, Review, The Word, Theology with Comments Off

Even though we haven’t We have now officially kicked off the group read. I have completed the first chapter of Wright’s The New Testament and the People of God and, as expected, was blown away. Just a hint of the gold that I have been busy mining:

The New Testament has not been around as long as the land of Israel, but in other ways there are remarkable parallels. It is a small book, smaller than anybody else’s holy book, small enough to be read through in a day or two. But it has had an importance belied by its slim appearance. It has again and again been a battleground for warring armies. Sometimes they have come to plunder its treasures for their own use, or to annex bits of its territory as part of a larger empire in need of a few extra strategic mountains, especially holy ones. Sometimes they have come to fight their private battles of neutral territory, finding in the debates about a book or a passage a convenient place to stage a war which is really between two world views or philosophies, themselves comparatively unrelated to the New Testament and its concerns. There are many places whose fragile beauty has been trampled by heavy-footed exegetes in search of a Greek root, a quick sermon, or a political slogan. And yet it has remained a powerful and evocative book, full of delicacy and majesty, tears and laughter. This book is a book of wisdom for all peoples, but we have made it a den of scholarship, or of a narrow, hard and exclusive piety. (3-4)
What ought to be done with this strange and powerful little book? A volume of Shakespeare may be used to prop up a table leg, or it may be used as the basis for a philosophical theory. It is not difficult, though, to see that using it as the foundation for dramatic productions of the plays themselves carries more authenticity than either of these. There is a general appropriateness about using Shakespeare as a basis of plays, which justifies itself without much more argument. (5-6)

The New Testament, I suggest, must be read so as to be understood, read within appropriate contexts, within an acoustic which will allow its full overtones to be heard. It must be read with as little distortion as possible, and with as much sensitivity as possible to its different levels of meaning. It must be read so that the stories, and the Story, which it tells can be heard as stories, not as rambling ways of declaring unstoried ‘ideas.’ It must not be read with the assumption that we already know what it is going to say, and without the arrogance that assumes ‘we’- whichever group that might be- already have ancestral rights over this or that passage, book, or writer. And for full appropriateness, it must be read in such a way as to set in motion the drama which it suggests. (6)

I felt that the first quote was escpecially pionant due to the recent turmoil that has erupted in and around the country of Israel over the recent weeks. Too often our arguing and debates over scripture turns to war almost as quickly as the real thing. Casualties take their toll on both sides of such conflict and leave those still left in the battle with a bitter taste in our mouths. We were not born to kill, it is something that we learn.

Again, I have been amazed at Wright’s ability to write ith both lofty, eloquant, doctarial prose and then everyday, run of the mill conversation. Brilliant.

I can’t wait to acctually begin sharing with the group. hear what others have to say. We have to have the first five chapters read by the end of the month so keep looking for my thoughts and reactions. Great stuff!!!

Reading Group

July 24, 2006 in Books, Leadership, Ministry, Resources with Comments Off

I am so stoked about being a part of a group reading The New Testament and the People of God by NT Wright. The group was started by Justin over at Radical Congruency and right now there are 16 people in our group.

When I look back over my short life I see that I have been shaped by a number of conversations big and small and I am hoping that this conversation will be added to that list.

We will be discussing the book over at Urban Monastery and I am planning to discuss it here as well. Please be praying for us that this time will be beneficial. I’m am so excited.

As Iron Sharpens Iron.

Oh Let The Ancient Words Impart

June 23, 2006 in Books, Ministry, Resources, Review, The Word with 1 Comment

Yes, the Bible is an interesting book. Which is why nine out of ten American households own at least one copy, according to a 2005 update from the Barna Research Group. It’s why six out of ten Americans confess to reading the Bible every once in a while, according to a 2000 Gallup poll. Yet most of us readers don’t know Ezra from Esther or Zephaniah from Zechariah. Few of us can list all four Gospels or recite half of the Ten Commandments. A majority of us can’t even identify who delivered the Sermon on the Mount.*

That’s why you need this book – A handy, easy-to=read, occasionally amusing guide to the Bible and its characters, events, translations, and history. Why? Because the Bible is the all-time best-selling book, one that most people own but apparently don’t read, that lots of people read but apparently don’t understand, that lots of people allegedly understand but in a way that makes them jerks. Let’s see what the Pocket Guide can do about that.

As a youth minister, I am constantly on the lookout for new resources that can help me introduce my students to the Bible. With each passing day I have found that it is becoming increasingly more difficult to get students excited about reading the Word. The reasons are many and varied:

1) The Word seems dusty and unapproachable. When you force kids to read the New King james Version what do you expect.
2) We try forcing the Bible on our kids. That’s like trying to eat 8 saltines in under a minute. It’s unbearable and it ain’t gonna work!
3) We are more concerned with our kids getting a scholarship than we are with them spending time with the Savior. Scholarships for knowing the Torah and the history of the Northern kingdom are hard to come by.
4) When adults have trouble understanding something, we often let it slide. It falls off our radar and we don’t make it a priority. Our kids see that and learn a lesson (not a valuable lesson, but a lesson nonetheless).
5) Students don’t see adults all that excited about the Bible.

Parent: Where did you learn this?
Johnny: (through tears) I learned it from you, ok! I learned it from you!!!

Whatever the reason we have to find an approach to living with Scripture that glorifies God, gets people into the Word, and gets everyone excited about learning and sharing the greatest book of all-time.

A new resource that I have come across is Jason Boyett’s Pocket Guide to the Bible. This little book is both side-splittingly hilarious and deep-in-the-trenches informative (Yes, you can be both). I want to spend this weekend and the first part of next week introducing you to this “little book about the Big Book.”

Boyett divides the book into 5 sections: Biblicabulary, Cast of Characters, What Happens, History of the Written Word, and Biblical Miscellany. Today, I only want to discuss the first section.

The first section is titled Biblicabulary. Here he takes the reader through a list of difficult Bible words or confusing concepts that often derail many a man, woman, or child who attempt to read the Good Book. Boyett first defines the word or concept for the reader. Then he gives an example of how it is used in Scripture. By using concise, solid Biblical examples Boyett helps readers understand the differences between the Pharisees and Sadducees, Old Testament and New, and everything in between. By using references from everyday life and pop culture Boyett helps make the Word accessible for both first time readers and valedictorians at Hebrew Union. 2 Examples:

Ark of the Covenant: A sacred, gold-covered box made of acaia wood. It houses the stone tablets on which God chiseled the Ten Commandments, plus a jar of manna and Aaron’s miraculous walking stick. It’s kept in the holy of holies in the Tabernacle and later gets moved to Solomon’s temple. Why? Because it is a reminder to the Israelites of God’s presence.
Also Known As: Ark of the Testimony, Ark of the Agreement, Ark of the Lord
Not Also Known As: The Ark of Noah, which holds a bunch of animals rather than stone tablets and is made of gopher wood instead of acaia wood. Also, it’s a boat.
Please Use It In a Sentance: Archeologically inclined Nazis will want to avoid opening the Ark of the Covenant, as it will melt their faces off.
Biblical Example: Now the people of Beth Shemesh were harvesting their wheat in the valley, and when they looked up and saw the ark, they rejoiced at the sight. (1Samuel 6:13)

Prophet: A human messenger speaking on behalf of God, for the purpose of (1) calling God’s people to repentance for doing something wrong, or (2) predicting future calamity or coming judgement because of all the wrongdoing. Such prophesies make up a sizable chunk of the Old Testament, from Isaiah to Malachi. Other biblical big-timers like Samuel and Elijah are identified as prophets.
Not To Be Confused With: False prophets, seemingly religious heavyweights who claim to receive visions and messages and other sorts of instructions from God, but who are pretty much full of crap. On account of how the stuff God’s apparently telling these guys to do is more or less evil, and that’s not how God rolls. Example A: Jim Jomes. Example B: David Koresh.
Biblical Example: “But the prophet who prophesies peace will be recognized as one truly sent by the LORD only if his prediction comes true.” (Jeremiah 28:9)

See, who says the Bible is out-of-date and irrelevant? Not me. I love reading, learning, and living with God’s Word. I want my students and their families to get just as excited and motivated about spending time in Bible study as they do about yelling at the refs in the NBA for allowing Miami to walk away with that trophy.

If someone you know is having difficult time understanding the Bible or connecting all the dots, pick them up a copy of Pocket Guide to the Bible. In fact, get two copies and start reading it with them. Start making Bible study a priority with your friends, family, and yourself.

*George Gallup Jr., The Role of the Bible in American Society, 1990
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