7 Books Every Church Leader Should Read This Spring

It’s beginning to feel a lot like Spring. The sun is staying with us a bit longer each day. We can begin to see renewal and new life blooming all around us but what about inside of us. Spring can be an opportunity to start something new, begin new habits, grow in an area of your life that feels stagnated.

One of the best ways for a leader to grow is through working through a book to gain more knowledge and wisdom about personal development, leadership, team building, or strategic thinking. One of the things I love about reading for growth is that I get to spend hours with someone who has gone before me, identified issues, and experienced transformation. Much like coaching, reading helps speed up the learning curve. 

With this in mind, I want to share with you 7 Books Every Church Leader Should Read This Spring:

  1. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Pete Scazzero

Scazzero shares from his personal experiences how surface level living almost derailed his personal life and professional ministry. Only when a leader gets emotionally mature can they lead with spiritual maturity. If I were to choose one book to start with this Spring, it would be this one. Scazzero identifies 7 Pathways of Emotional Healthy Spirituality that hae the potential to transform your life and leadership… if you are willing to get below the surface.

“A lack of emotional health in the early years of my ministry almost cost me everything—my marriage, my family, my work, and my own well-being. I am thankful to God for his mercy. This mercy enabled me not only to survive but to enjoy a richness and joy in the Christian life that I had given up believing was possible. If you are hungry for God to transform you as well as those around you, I invite you to continue reading.”

2. A Tale of Three Kings by Gene Edwards

In this retelling of the lives of Saul and David – the first two kings of Israel – the question becomes: What kind of leader will you be? Will you rely on title, external power, or your own will? Will you become bitter and seek revenge on those who hurt you? Will you submit in humility and wait on the Lord or will you take any and every opportunity to take what is rightfully yours? I promise you… this book is not about the people around you. A Tale of Three Kings is written for you. If you have enough courage, it will help you reveal areas of your life and leadership that are hidden in the shadows. It will speak to your hurts and disappointments. It will make space for you to wrestle with your place in God’s Story. 

“I believe we will find the story to be in two parts. In part 1 we shall meet an older king, Saul by name, and a young shepherd boy named David. In part 2 we shall once more meet an older king and a young man. But this time the older king is David and  the young man is Absalom. The story is a portrait (you might prefer to call it a rough charcoal sketch) of submission and authority within the kingdom of God. Ah, they have turned off the lights, and the players have taken their places. The audience has quieted itself. The curtain is rising. Our story has begun.”

3. A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman

When I first read A Failure of Nerve, it was though every light in my house turned on at once. I could suddenly see why I reacted the way I did in certain situations. It help me understand why other leaders made certain decisions or acted in a particular way in leadership situations. Friedman takes concepts first identified in Bowen Family Systems and applies them to the larger world in organizations, churches, synagogs, and politics. Chronic Anxiety – disproportionate emotional reactivity – will derail your own thought processes, your team, and your organization. Learning how to be differentiated (separate yet connected) and becoming a non-anxious presence (emotionally regulated) have been game-changers for me both personally and professionally.

The five aspects of chronic anxiety are reactivity, herding, blaming, a quick-fix mentality, and lack of leadership—the last not only a fifth characteristic of societal regression but one that stems from and contributes to the other four. Each of these perverts natural principles of evolution, namely, self-regulation, adaptation to strength, the response to challenge, and allowing time for processes to mature.”

4. Boundaries for Leaders by Dr Henry Cloud

I’m actually re-reading this book this Spring because of the season I am in right now. Too often, leaders become discouraged when they are facing challenges from every direction. The best way to reign in the chaos is to take personal responsibility on that which you can control. Cloud reminds leaders that they are ridiculously in control of the boundaries they set forth for their team or organziation – expectations, attitude, example, etc.

“You may be beginning to lead something new, or you may be focusing on turning something around and making it better. A leader’s clear boundaries are often what an organization is waiting for, and when it happens, it can create the most valuable company in the world. When a leader steps up and leads, and sets boundaries that provide clarity that cuts through the noise, it is a new day.”

5. Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership by Ruth Haley Barton

What good is it to gain the world of leadership tips and tricks and lose your soul along the way? Ruth Haley Barton, using the life and leadership of Moses, goes beyond developing skills for leadership and invites us to develop our souls. I’ve always identified with Moses. We were both adopted. Moses had the tendency to lose his temper and lash out in anger. He overfunctioned as a leader until he nearly burned out. He got frustrated with people. He wrestled with the awesome leadership burdens he was tasked with. Barton brings all of these things into focus and provides practical ideas for developing what is happening inside you so that you can lead from the overflow of your soul.

“Strengthening the soul of your leadership is an invitation to enter more deeply into the process of spiritual transformation and to choose to lead from that place. It is an opportunity to forge a connection between our souls and our leadership rather than experiencing them as separate arenas of our lives. Spiritual transformation is the process by which Christ is formed in us for the glory of God, for the abundance of our own lives and for the sake of others. God is the one who initiates and guides the process and brings it to fruition. The soul-full leader is appropriately humbled by this realization and also relieved to not have to bear the heavy weight of responsibility for changing herself or others. The soul-full leader is faithful to the one thing he can do—create the conditions that set us up for an encounter with God in the places where we need it most. To continually seek God in the crucible of ministry no matter how hard it gets.”

6. Canoeing the Mountains by Tod Bolisinger

Probably no other book has been “right on time” like Canoeing the Mountains. Many discovered this book just prior to and during the COVID lockdowns. There were many technical problems to be faced during that time and pastors really rose to the occasion. Creative solutions for how to deliver Sunday services over the internet and how to remain connect to their congregations helped keep many leaders motivated during a difficult season. However, as COVID season began to drag on it became apparent that the old ways of doing ministry were no longer capable of taking us into the new world we were and will continue to face. The Lewis and Clark Expedition expected to canoe all the way to the Pacific. The Rocky Mountains changed those plans. What got us here… will not get us there. 

“A couple of years ago I learned that three of my pastor friends around the country had resigned on the same day. There were no affairs, no scandals and no one was renouncing faith. But three good, experienced pastors turned in resignations and walked away. One left church ministry altogether. The details are as different as the pastors themselves, but the common thread is that they finally got worn down by trying to bring change to a church that was stuck and didn’t know what to do. Their churches were stuck and declining, stuck and clinging to the past, stuck and lurching to quick fixes, trying to find an easy answer for what were clearly bigger challenges. What all three churches had in common was that they were mostly blaming the pastor for how bad it felt to be so stuck. “If only you could preach better!” “If only you were more pastoral and caring!” “If only our worship was more dynamic!” “Please, pastor, do something!” (That is what we pay you for, isn’t it?) And to make matters worse, the pastors don’t know what to do either. In this changing world we need to add a new set of leadership tools. This is a guidebook for learning to lead in a world we weren’t prepared for.”

7. Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs by Steve Cuss

I believe that Leadership requires you to bring your thoughts, emotions, and actions in alignment so that you can function well and provide space for others to do the same. Anxiety – disproportionate emotional reactions and responses – shut down our ability to think, feel, and act appropriately. In Managing Leadership Anxiety, Cuss will help you identify your own anxious reactions and how to recognize anxious reactions in others.

“Leaders face a steady onslaught of internal and external pressures we are not trained to handle. We focus on skill development and hone our gifts but too often neglect the most powerful leadership tool: awareness of what is happening under the surface. All manner of triggers, reactivity, and stories we tell ourselves bubble just under our conscious awareness. This boiling collective blocks our capacity to be present because it takes energy to manage, especially when we’re not aware of it or when we’re reacting unconsciously to anxiety in someone else. This book will help diagnose what is causing your anxiety and also provide you with prescriptive tools to help diffuse anxiety—moving you from being managed by anxiety to managing anxiety, both yours and theirs. You will become more self-aware, but becoming aware is only step one in the growth process. We all know people who are self-aware but do tremendous damage, or even people who use self-awareness as permission to stay the same. Awareness is critical to be sure, but it is not the path of growth, it is simply the gate. We unlock it and walk through it, but on the other side of self-awareness is difficult work that brings deeper freedom for us and those we serve. This is no small journey.”

FREE SPIRITUAL CARE & COACHING IN DECEMBER

We are now in that unique time of the year in between Thanksgiving and Christmas. At Kicking at the Darkness, I believe in supporting and empowering pastors who invest their lives to serving others and who are making a positive Kingdom impact in their communities. That’s why, in the spirit of giving, I’m excited to announce a special offer for the month of December – free coaching sessions for pastors!

Why Pastors Need Coaching

Navigating Personal Challenges:Pastors often find themselves at the forefront of providing support to others, but who is supporting you? Kicking at the Darkness coaching sessions aim to create a safe space for pastors to explore personal challenges, set meaningful goals, and develop strategies for personal well-being health.

Enhancing Professional Leadership:The demands of leading a congregation can be overwhelming. Through coaching, I will help you enhance your leadership skills, develop effective team communication, and engage in strategic planning to help you cultivate a thriving and resilient ministry.

Free Coaching In December:

Personalized Sessions:Each week in December, we will meet together over the phone or through video chat for individual sessions to address your specific needs to create a coaching experience that is impactful and relevant to your life and ministry.

Goal Setting and Planning: Together, we’ll work on setting clear, achievable goals for both personal and professional growth to make 2024 your best year ever! Whether it’s improving you work-life strategy, refining leadership skills, or pursuing a specific ministry initiative, I am here to help you take action towards success.

Stress Management and Well-being: Ministry can be demanding, often leading to burnout. This coaching program will provide you with strategies for stress management, self-care, and maintaining a healthy work-life balance, enabling pastors to serve their communities with renewed energy and enthusiasm.

How to Claim Your Free Coaching in December:

Sign Up for Free: Visit www.Kickingatthedarkness.com and sign up for a free coaching session during the month of December.

Initial Call:I will reach out to schedule an initial on-boarding call to understand your specific needs and then put our December sessions on the calendar.

This December, take a step towards a more fulfilling and successful 2024 by investing in yourself. Sign up for these free coaching sessions, and let me partner with you in creating a brighter future for both you and your ministry. Together, we can make 2024 an amazing year of growth, resilience, and success.

S.E.L.F. Care for Pastors and Church Leaders

Pastor, when was the last time you you prioritized your own S.E.L.F. care?

I don’t mean, when was the last time you booked a massage and a facial treatment? I’m not asking when was the last time you mentally and emotionally had to checkout because you were so tired and stretched thin?

When I talk about S.E.L.F. care, I want you to think back to when was the last time you prioritized your SPIRITUAL HEALTH, your EMOTIONAL MATURITY, your closest LIFE CONNECTIONS, and your immediate FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS.

As I pastor, I know how busy and how overwhelming it can be leading a church. The demands on your time and the immense responsibilities facing you make it difficult to slow down and look inward. Plus, you might think – how can I focus on myself when I have to take care of everyone else?

 S.E.L.F. care is NOT selfish. S.E.L.F. care is a way to function in life so that you can operate at greater capacity in ministry. You must attend to your SPIRITUAL and EMOTIONAL NEEDS so that you can be fully present for your LIFE and FAMILY.

In Mark 12:30-31, Jesus calls us to “Love the Lord … with all (our) heart and with all (our) soul and with all (our) mind and with all (our) strength.” He then goes on to say that we also must love those around us as we love ourselves.

When I entered ministry and church work, I thought everyday I would be engaging in practices and with people that would ensure that I increased and grew in these ways everyday. What I found out is that the opposite was more often the case.

Because ministry never stops, I neglected my PHYSICAL HEALTH. Too many pizzas and late nights in youth ministry. Lots of sitting and lunch meetings sharing carb-heavy meals. I gained weight and failed to take care of the body God gave me to carry out the work He called me into.

I let the stress of life and ministry impact me EMOTIONALLY and MENTALLY. In my 20s and 30s life comes at you pretty fast. Growing a family, greater responsibilities at home and in ministry. Transitioning roles, making decisions, balancing EVERY voice AROUND you, discerning the voice INSIDE you. If you cannot learn to function well in these areas, you will pay a heavy price.

One saving grace for me is that God has blessed me with an incredible RELATIONAL SUPPORT SYSTEM. I have a handful of deep and abiding friendships – guys outside of my church environment who have NO exceptions on me other than to be a friend and to receive their friendship. My immediate family has been the single greatest blessing. I have a wife and kids who embody what it means to love whole-heartedly with UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

Here is what I believe and how I want to help YOU.

I believe that ministry and church leadership ought to STRENGTHEN YOUR SOUL – not slowly suffocate it. I don’t want the work you do FOR God IN a church to destroy the work OF God IN you. 

My work as a pastoral coach helps ministry leaders, like you, gain HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH in every area of your life so that you can thrive personally and professionally. Through 1:1 coaching, I help pastors identify goals and work through issues to help them see and work towards a brighter future. I help leadership teams work better together – clarify their values, harness their strengths, create systems and process to share ministry across the whole church. I believe that the best way for me to serve the church of Jesus Christ is to serve pastors and church leaders.

So, as I sign off today, let me ask you a question…

  • Renewing your SPIRITUAL HEALTH
  • Moving toward EMOTIONAL MATURITY
  • Strengthening your LIFE CONNECTIONS
  • Focusing on your FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

If you could spend your time and energy on just one of these areas over the coming days and weeks, which would have the greatest impact on your life and ministry?

Leave a comment below and let me know which area would benefit you the most and why. If you leave a comment, I will send you a list of resources that can help you get started.

The Best Is Yet To Come

Micheal Felker here. I hope that you are doing well and that this letter finds you and your family in a great season of life.

Over the past two years, Kicking at the Darkness has connected with and made a difference in the lives of pastors and ministry teams across the nation, extending its impact even to missionaries in East Africa. Although there was a setback during my recovery from heart surgery, we are now at a point where we sense God opening doors and urging me to move forward with renewed vigor. 

Kicking at the Darkness is not just a ministry; it’s a movement set on empowering pastors and church leaders with a sense of hope, clarity, and strength in every area of their lives so that they may personally and professionally thrive.

Ministry isn’t just a 9-to-5 gig. It’s a 24/7 calling that often comes with a variety of unique challenges. By providing events, programs, and resources tailor-made to equip leaders to develop resilience, increase spiritual renewal, and stay engaged in ministry longer, Kicking at the Darkness wants to become a beacon of light to provide support that impacts leaders, their families, and churches across the world.

Now, here’s where you come in – we can’t do this solo. We need people like you, who believe in making a real impact. Your support could be the game-changer that takes our vision and turns it into a reality.

Any support that you provide will become the fuel behind initiatives like monthly Lunch & Learns, coaching sessions, and developing resources to help individual pastors and church teams live and lead well. Imagine the ripple effect of your contribution – empowering leaders to stand strong, no matter what comes their way.

Here are a few ways you can directly support my family and this ministry:

  1. PRAYERS FOR THE WORK – Please pray for this ministry. Pray that church leaders who are discourage may be encouraged. Pray that ministers who are facing challenges can discover ways to overcome and thrive. Pray that churches will prioritizing caring for those who serve on their staff. Pray for this work. Pray for this ministry. Pray for me. Pray for my family.
  2. SPREAD THE WORD – If you know a church leader who could use some soul care and ministry coaching, please connect us. If you know of a church that is looking for someone to help them navigate through a season of revitalization or transition, share with them my contact information. If you know of an organization that could benefit from team building or leadership development training, I’m uniquely gifted and have resources to help. If you know someone who is looking for ways to pour into pastors and provide resources, please send them my way. 
  3. FUEL FOR THE FIRE – A financial gift of any amount – one time or recurrent – will be more than just a donation; it’s will be an investment in the future of leaders who shape the spiritual landscape for years to come.

If you are moved by our mission and inclined to support us, please visit kickingatthedarkness.com/partner-with-katd for more information on how to contribute or contact us directly. Your commitment to this cause will make a lasting impact on the men and women who dedicate themselves to guiding and uplifting others in the name of Jesus.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for considering this. Let us be the ones who bring hope, clarity, and strength to those who bring it to others each and every day!

What Do You REALLY Want?

One of the questions that I’ve been asking in this season is, “What do I really want?”

What do I REALLY want my life to look like? Who do I want to become? What do I want to accomplish? Who do I want to help? 

As I have spent time reflecting on these questions, here are a few of the things I’ve discovered…

Spiritually – I really want a deep and abiding relationship with YHWH, to live connected to Jesus, and be empowered to live and move by the power of the Holy Spirit. 

Physically – I really want to regain the strength and endurance I had prior to my heart surgery. I really want achieve my goal weight and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Emotionally – I really want a regulated sense of emotional well-being that provides a non-anxious presence in my life and the lives of those around me.

Mentally – I really want a well-curated mind that is grounded in reality and is resilient in the face of trials.

Relationally – I really want strong relationships where we pour into one another and receive equally as needed.

Identity – I really want to know that I am loved unconditionally and to allow that love to guide me and empower me to live with Confidence, Curiosity, and Connection.

What about you? What do YOU really want? I’d love to hear you answers to what you want in these areas of your life. Drop me a message or comment below. If you want to explore some of these areas for yourself, I’m here to listen, help you dig in, and encourage you to take action toward the life you really want!

Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself…

Hello! I’m Micheal and I am the executive director and pastoral coach for Kicking at the Darkness, a ministry dedicated to providing HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH to Pastors and Church Teams. 

I don’t need to tell you that ministry is one of the most challenging professions on planet earth. Loving and Leading people with everything that you are and everything that you have is emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually draining. After a few seasons of frustrations and fatigue, it is inevitable that disappointment can set in.

After 20 years in local church ministry, I grew tired of seeing good men and women in ministry lose confidence in their calling, wrestle with difficult people and processes, and, ultimately, exit the ministry for good. In this new season, I believe that God has called me to serve the church by serving pastors. If you are a church leader, I want to come alongside you to encourage and equip you to continue in ministry with all your heart, mind, spirit, and body. Kicking at the Darkness is ministry care for those who minister. 

What do I mean by helping you gain HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH in yourself and your ministry.

First, Hope is NOT a pie-in-the-sky dream that is unrealistic and unattainable. Hope is defined as “a reasonable expectation that something good may happen.” This “reasonable expectation” comes from a confidence that REMEMBERS God’s redemptive acts in the past, TRUSTS God’s faithfulness in the present, and BELIEVES God’s goodness for the future. 

The Apostle Paul describes God as “The God of HOPE.” 

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Joy, Peace, and an overflowing of Hope are the result of staying connected to the God of Hope.

Next is Clarity. Once you believe that things will get better you need a plan and a vision to move forward. 

In most ministry settings, whenever issues or problems arise leadership teams can get caught up in the Frustration Loop. Discuss… debate… deliberate… discuss… debate… deliberate… “Look kid’s, Parliament… Big Ben.” What we need are systems and processes in place that help us identify what the real issues are, the courage to discuss openly, and solutions that concrete action steps to solve issues permanently.

Finally, you need Strength to endure and persevere to all that is to come – the good, the bad, the unknown, and the unexpected. How is your health? How is your mental and emotional state? Are you getting enough rest? There are Habits that help us ensure that when the difficult seasons occur, we have done what we can to prepare ahead of time and increased our capacity to weather the storm whether it’s a light drizzle or a Category 5 hurricane.

How can I help you today?

There are a few avenues that we are developing to help meet your needs and provide a system and process for HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH. 

The first is 1:1 Coaching. Whether IN-PERSON, ON the PHONE, or VIDEO-CHAT we can meet on a schedule that works for you. This is an opportunity for you to share whatever is happening in your ministry with an objective, neutral person outside of your church. During our time you’ll receive encouragement and help to process options, decisions, and action-steps. I will also pray over you at the end of each meeting. 

  • Perhaps things are really bad right now and you just need someone to vent to and hear what’s going on in your heart and in your head. I can help you with that.
  • Maybe you know what needs to happen or you have some ideas for the future but you need some help identifying and taking the next steps necessary to make the vision a reality. I can help you with that.
  • Or maybe you are looking to build up and reinforce some areas of your life that you need in order to make the most of your life and ministry. I can help you with that.

Another way that Kicking at the Darkness is providing HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH is through working with Church Teams to create systems and processes to BUILD TRUST, INCREASE UNITY, and DRIVE VISION. The truth is that the HEALTH of the Ministry Leadership determines the EFFECTIVENESS of the entire Church. I enjoy working with church leadership teams in resolving differences and learning to work through conflict. I love helping teams identify and implement a set of Core Values that define HOW they will work together. I get excited when Teams TRUST one another, attack CHALLENGES, and CELEBRATE wins for the Kingdom. How good and pleasant it is when Church Staffs work well together and actually enjoy working together! (Psalm 133:1)

Beyond 1:1 Coaching and Working with Church Teams, I am also working on developing resources to help…

  • Church Leaderships UNDERSTAND and RECOGNIZE the need to Prioritize, Plan, and Protect times of Rest for the entire staff so that leaders can lead from a place of peace and strength.
  • Teaching Pastors to develop and implant a Year-Long Preaching Calendar to get a handle on their schedule and prep time.
  • Providing direction and facilitating Staff Retreats to Pray and Plan the year so that team can build unity and cast vision.
  • Dealing with Issues (people, process, programs) Once and For All with Grace and Intentionality so that the Gospel will be unhindered by strife and conflict

If any of this sounds like something that you need and want – if I can be useful to you in any way, let me share with you how we can connect to see how Kicking at the Darkness can best serve you.

First, Go to KickingattheDarkness.com. There you can schedule a FREE 45-Min Spiritual Care and Coaching Call. During our time together, I want to hear about the challenges you’re facing and pray over you. After the call, we can work together to determine how best to move forward to provide you or your team with the HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH you need in your life and ministry.

Also on the site, you can Partner with Kicking at the Darkness through becoming a Prayer Partner or to donate to the ministry. Our goal for 2022 is to have the solid support of 300 people who love ministers and the church, believe in this ministry, and who pray regularly for ministers facing challenges. Kicking at the Darkness is a registered 501(c)(3) so a gift of any amount will help provide ministry coaching and spiritual care at minimal cost to individual church leaders. You gift will help me, help them.

I am also on all the socials. Connect with me. Let’s be friends! 

Instagram

Facebook

To wrap up, a few years ago I was I was in the thick of it. Life was good… but it was hard. We had a young family – two kids 3 and 1. It seemed like every 18 months some major crisis was happening in our church leadership and body. I had recently transitioned from one position to another. Someone encouraged me to reach out to a coach who specialized in helping small church pastors. This coach helped me in so many ways both personally and professionally. He listened, gave counsel, and encouraged me. He empowered me to make decisions and take responsibility for my life and ministry. My circumstances didn’t change… but my perspective radically shifted. Where I didn’t think things could ever get better, I found the HOPE to believe that would. Where I couldn’t see a way forward, I discovered the CLARITY I needed to move ahead. Where I needed to grow my capacity, I gained STRENGTH in those areas.

This is what I want for you and your ministry. I know a significant number of ministers are looking to exit ministry all together right now. If that’s you, let’s talk before you make that decision. If you have it in you to go another season… let’s partner together to make a your next season your BEST SEASON in life and ministry.  

3 Things You Must Do To END 2022 and START 2023 Well

One of the foundational principles that I live my life by is the belief that how you END something determines how you are able to START something new. 

The way you LEAVE a job will determine how you BEGIN your new job. The way you END one relationship has a bearing on your NEXT relationship. How you TRANSITION OUT from one season will impact the seasons that FOLLOW.

If you LEAVE things undone or unsaid, you risk carrying the weight of those mistakes with you as you move forward. However, if you are aware and work to FINISH WELL, you have a better chance of STARTING WELL in your next endeavor.

How you END something determines how you are able to START something new.

I care deeply about you and your family as well as your hopes and dreams. That’s why I want to encourage you to do what you can to END the year well so that you may BEGIN the new year well. I believe that the effects of this year will continue to haunt you and hold you back from growth in the future if you don’t handle the transition well. I want to help you faithfully and intentionally work to END well so that you can BEGIN the new year with confidence knowing you did all you could do to ensure a great start.

I want to share with you today 3 things you must do in order to END well and START well. 

REFLECT

The first thing you must do is REFLECT on this past year. Yes, I want you to review what may have been the worst year of your life or a year of unprecedented success for you personally and professionally. I want you to look back on the good, bad, and ugly of this past year with clear eyes. I want you to try to remember the things your experienced and the major events of this past year. What happened to you? How did you feel? What positive habits were you able to begin? What negative habits may have held you back?

Lamentations 3:19-24 (NIV) says…

 I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”

No doubt your year was filled with highs and lows and all the days between. However, one thing remained constant throughout them all and that is the STEADFAST LOVE OF THE LORD for you. God’s love, care, concern, provision, presence never went away over the last 12 months. You may not have always been aware of it… you may not have “felt” it… you may have forgotten… but Yahweh was and is and is to come. 

Besides some of the questions I encouraged you to ask above, take a few moments over the coming days, get alone with God or gather your family in a time of family worship and study to explore your answers to the following:

Where did I see God this year?

How was my faith challenged this past year?

In what ways did I grow in my love and trust for Jesus this year?

What is my favorite memory of the year? What is my least favorite moment from this past year?

– What was my biggest challenge this year?

What would I like to leave behind this year? 

What would I have God help me change or help me grow in during the coming year?

REFLECTING on your year is important because you need to ACKNOWLEDGE what happened, pay ATTENTION to significant moments, so you can ADDRESS your growth and set backs more clearly moving forward.

REPAIR

The second thing you must do to END this year and START next year well is to make every effort to REPAIR any relationship that you know needs attention.

There are different levels of REPAIR…

Some relationships need some attention and maintenance. These relationships need a little CARE and concern so that they can remain healthy.

Some relationships need to be pieced back together. Hurts and Mistakes need to be CORRECTED.

Some relationships need to be wrapped up and put away so that you can move forward. These relationships need proper CLOSURE so that you can both move on.

Matthew 5:23–24 (CSB)

So if you are offering your gift on the altar, and there you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.

You life is made up of so many different relationships. Some you need to lean into over the next year so that you can help one another grow and be encouraged through the different seasons of life. Some relationships though may cause you pain, frustration, and ultimately leave you hurt and discouraged. Consider the following questions to help you determine what level of CARE, CORRECTION, or CLOSURE may be needed in your relationships:

What relationships did I experience a deeper level with this year? Why did this relationship deepen?

What relationships experience a distancing or drifting this year? Why did this happen? (Resist placing/taking blame and try to objectivly describe any situation or event that may have caused this relationship to drift)

What relationship do I need to intentionally bring to a close? How is this relationship keeping me from growth or health?

RECOMMIT

I often wonder how the focus, direction, and motivation for our lives would change if we read the Greatest Commands and the Great Commission from Jesus every morning and before we went to sleep every night.

Matthew 22:37–40 (NIV)

Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 28:18–20 (CSB)

Jesus came near and said to them, “All authority has been given to me in heaven and on earth. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Consider this question:

What would it look like if my every thought, decision, and action were influenced by just these 2 passages? How would my attitude change? How would it impact my relationships with others? How would is affect my work, my desires, my entire life?

I want to encourage you to RECOMMIT to being a fully-engaged disciple of Jesus Christ every day this next year. Fully- Engaged Disciples walk with Jesus and engage in the following practices with Him and God’s people:

Disciples WORSHIP PASSIONATELY

Disciples GROW DAILY

Disciples LOVE ONE ANOTHER

Disciples GIVE GENEROUSLY

Disciples JOIN THE MISSION

Disciples SHARE THEIR FAITH

These HABITS help to FORM us in the way of Jesus and BIND us together as brothers and sisters. As we Worship, Grow, Love, Give, Join, and Share our HEARTS, SOULS, MINDS, and LIVES are oriented toward King Jesus and life in his kingdom.

Romans 13:11-14 (MSG)

But make sure that you don’t get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing! God is putting the finishing touches on the salvation work he began when we first believed. We can’t afford to waste a minute, must not squander these precious daylight hours in frivolity and indulgence, in sleeping around and dissipation, in bickering and grabbing everything in sight. Get out of bed and get dressed! Don’t loiter and linger, waiting until the very last minute. Dress yourselves in Christ, and be up and about!

How you END something determines how you are able to START something new… How will you END this year?… How will you BEGIN the new year?


You Have To Wrestle Resentment To The Ground

Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and defiling many. (Hebrews 12:15)

As you begin to wrestle with your thoughts and feelings about the current state of your ministry and the world we find ourselves in, one emotion that you must wrestle to the ground is RESENTMENT.
Resentment – bitter indignation at have been treated unfairly – is poisonous and detrimental to your life and ministry.

  1. Resentment keeps you from believing you have agency or personal responsibility over your own life. If you believe that your life, calling, and success is completely out of your control and at the complete mercy of others your bitterness will turn to despair. 
  2. Resentment creates distance in your relationships  with everyone around you. This distance isn’t just between you and the people you perceived have wronged you but resentment will begin to affect even those closest to you. Resentment closes you off from relationships because your ability to trust (the most important relational capital) is stunted.
  3. Resentment ultimately causes you to remain stuck where you are because the roots of bitterness are so strong you cannot move forward from your hurts.

How have you seen RESENTMENT play out in your life and ministry? How have you seen God’s grace breakthrough and help you deal with RESENTMENT in your life?

3 MORE REASONS PASTORS ARE CONSIDERING LEAVING

3 MORE REASONS PASTOR’S ARE CONSIDERING LEAVING MINISTRY from Barna Research reveals that pastors…

  1. are Unhappy with the effect this role has had on their family 
  2. are Not Optimistic about the future of their church
  3. Believe that their vision for the church conflicts with the church’s direction 

The interesting thing about these three are that they are TIED for 4th place on the list (29%). In my work with church leaders, I would say that these are THE reasons I’m hearing rumblings in their confidence about remaining in ministry. In these conversations these issues have come to the surface because of a TOXIC CULTURE within their church. A culture that doesn’t take care of its people. A culture that wants to return to some “golden era” or is content with remaining stuck. A culture that would rather pursue the ways of American christianity than pursue the Kingdom. In these situations, the pastor feels as though they have no ability to change the situation. That’s a recipe for burnout and resignation.

What can we do to change TOXIC CULTURES within our churches? How can we help protect our ministry staff from becoming a statistic?

TOP 3 REASONS PASTORS HAVE CONSIDERED LEAVING

Barna has identified the TOP 3 REASONS PASTOR’S ARE CONSIDERING LEAVING MINISTRY (March, 2022). They are…

  1. The immense stress of the job (56%)
  2. Feeling lonely and isolated (43%)
  3. Current political divisions (38%)

Two of these are not changing anytime soon (1 & 3) but you can take steps to move beyond feeling lonely and isolated. You can join a gym (BJJ or Crossfit have community baked in), call that friend across town, or partner with a coach to listen to and encourage you (Hi! ? ). Life change happens in relationships. It’s true for those we love and lead… It’s true you.

What is at stake if you remain lonely or isolated? What difference would intentionally cultivating friendships have on your well-being and leadership? 

The Goal Is Soul