Category Archives: My Life
The Jar of Anger
10 years ago I was one angry dude. I had more than just a temper. I was mean and surly at the drop of a hat. I was a bit like an emotionally volatile Tasmanian Devil and I cared little about what damage was left in my wake.
The people who bore the brunt of my anger were my parents and my friends. I punched and kicked holes in walls and I even smashed a window once. My anger issues got so bad that I would blank out sometimes. I would remember some of the things I would do or say but there are whole chunks of crazy that my friends would have to tell me about later. It was a miserable experience.
I could make excuses and say that I was bullied or picked on as a kid. I could tell you that nobody liked me and I ate worms. I could make excuses and write off my bad behavior on my teenage hormones. However by say those things I am abdicating responsibility.
The bottom line is I was selfish and immature. I wouldn’t get my way and I flew off the handle. I felt slighted and I would want the world to know about it. Plain and simple.
My anger trapped me in destructive behaviors and stunted me emotionally. I ruined opportunities for relationship growth with friends and family all because I wanted to throw hissy fits. Real mature huh?
Today it is a different story. I have better control of my emotions and I rarely, if ever, raise my voice in anger. My wife has never seen me act out in anger. My friend’s wife, who met me after my change, told me that she has a hard time believing that I was ever angry. She has said that she thinks that we are making up stories from high school. I told her that we could never make up anything that ridiculous. I am thankful that God has smashed the jar of anger that was trapping me. I get a kick out of how great and powerful God is that he has transformed me so much that people have a hard to believing that my old way of living was even real. God be praised!
“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:12-14)
Today, while I don’t put my fist into walls or throw chairs at $2000 projectors, I still have to be on guard. Anger tries to creep back into my life through impatience, pride, and frustration. Like Paul, I will forget what is behind me though. I will press on. May his strength be evident in my weakness. May he continue to smash jars in my life.
May he smash the jars in your life that keep you from truly living.
Peace my friends.
Breaking Jars
I graduated from high school ten years ago this week. In May of 1998 I was an 18 year old kid who thought he knew everything there was to know. Now I’m a 28 year old (kid) and the only thing I know for certain is that I know very little. I am still trying to work it all out and I marvel at every time God gives me some tiny insight and I pray that his lessons will stick in my puny little brain.
As I look back over my (short) life I have been fortunate enough to break a few jars that were holding me back from maturing in one way or another. I spent too much time inside these jars allowing them to stunt my growth and causing me to become spiritually/emotionally deformed. Again, it is only by the grace of God that I was able to recognize these jars and it was only by his strength that I was able to crack open these jars and begin the slow, steady progress of being remolded in the image of Jesus.
“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:12-14)
Probably the biggest jar I have had to escape from is The Jar of Anger.
to be continued…
Hail Yeah!
I think we had a little bit of hail at our house last night. Of course, we had planned on cleaning out the garage this Saturday enough so that we can move our cars inside if we need to. It’s a good thing we’re going to do that!!!
No damage to the house or to the cars. Sandy’s garden full of bright and beautiful flowers… didn’t fair so well. In fact they are gone. They received the royal beat-down from the icy skies. The front yard looked like it was covered in shredded lettuce this morning. All those new leaves were knocked from their limbs! Good news was that the fence that I put up last year stood strong and laughed in the face of the storm!!! HAHAHA!
Enjoy the pics. Anyone else get hail last night?
28 Years Ago Today… Pt. 2
Twenty-eight years ago today you adopted me.
What can I say?
Thank you. You opened your home for me, cared for me, disciplined me, and provided for my every want and need.
Thank you for helping me understand the importance of my adoption and for not letting me be defined by it. It was never used as an excuse or crutch. It was a reality but I was your son. No questions asked.
Thank you for your examples and your love. Thank you for the dinners and for watching after your grand-dog when we are away.
Thank you more than words can say.
Proverbs 6:1-5
This is the year that we get out of debt.
Over 7 years of marriage we’ve managed to keep our heads above water but we have accumulated a little bit of debt. We used our credit cards to travel to see family, we moved, we bought a few pieces of furniture, and we bought a few stupid items.
After taking a step back and looking at our finances we concluded that something had to change or we would run the risk of getting into terrible financial trouble. It doesn’t matter that our level of debt was just under the national average. We were failing in our call to be good stewards of our money and so we decided to do something about it.
Today my wife told me that our credit cards have been completely paid off!!!
In just three months, we paid off a (ahem) crapload of money on those plastic traps. We went and did our taxes, found out that we didn’t owe anything, and then used the money we had set aside for taxes to completely pay those puppies off. We are done!!! No more plastic!
The next step is to pay down our car notes. That’s right, we have two of them and owe money on both. It’s ok though. We shouldn’t have bought my car when we did. I had a truck that was paid off but I was tired of driving that big boy around and I wanted a smaller car. Lesson learned. The plan is to have both of our cars paid off by the time 2009 rolls around.
Big PROPS to my wife because she does our finances.
Thanks babe for doing the hard work and for giving me a generous allowance each week. 🙂 I love you babe!
28 Years Ago Today…pt. 1
Twenty-eight years ago today, You gave birth to me and then you gave me up for adoption.
What can I say?
First, thank you. Your decision brought untold happiness and joy into my life. I am who I am today because you made that life-changing decision. I grew up in a loving family and experienced a large extended family through my school and church. I sat at the feet of godly men and women who challenged me and molded me in to the adult that I am today. Although I was influenced by all these things there are traits and characteristics that I share with no one other than you. I thank you for those things too.
Second, I have never, never felt any ill will towards you and your decision. What good would come from being angry with you? I don’t know if you’ve ever worried about that but know that those fears are unnecessary and misspent.
Third, know that I have and will always love you.
I’ll never know the reasons behind why you gave me up and you owe me no explanations. The reasons you did what you felt you needed to do are yours and yours alone. Just know that I love you and thank you and often pray for you. I think about you every now and then and wonder if you ever think of me. I hope you do.
May you be blessed knowing that you have blessed me.
tune in on the 7th for part 2