I got a ton of great feedback from readers last week that they were looking forward to this series of posts. Thanks to everyone who posted comments and left me info on more resources. Thank you so much.
I had planned on posting this earlier in the week but I was unable to do so. I am scheduled to preach this Sunday and I caught a bit of the crud this week. I am feeling much better today. I hope every one has a great weekend. Enjoy my teaching notes from last week’s class, The Elephant in the Family.
Week 2: The Message Has Been Tampered With
As a youth minister I’ve heard my fair share of questions that teens ask about dating, relationships, and sex? There are a handful of questions that I seem to get over and over.
How far is to far?
If you participate in oral sex are you still a virgin?
Can I sleep with someone even though we are getting married?
Is masturbation wrong?
Can I be forgiven for having pre-marital sex? If I go too far?
These questions make us nervous don’t they? They catch us off guard. Like me, some of you may believe you have the perfect answer to one or all of these questions but feel like your brain and you mouth struggle to synch up when speaking. The problem is that the Christian message of holiness and purity and devotion has been lost is a sea of indifference, secular culture, and fear.
The issue is that kids have questions and who better to answer them then their parents and the church. In that order. Based on our discussions from last week and our experiences most parents do not take the time to deal with these questions. Kids aren’t hearing from us in ways that they should.
What They Hear
Teenagers hear these messages about sex…
Parents say, “Don’t do it…”
The Church say, “Don’t do it because it is dirty, rotten, and shameful… so wait ‘til your married.”
The Culture say, “You should do it when YOU’RE ready…make sure to use protection.”
No wonder our kids mess up. There is no consistency of message.
Crisis Points
This inconsistency leads us to a handful of Crisis Points that everyone in society is concerned with.
Results of promiscuity
Instant Intimacy
Early Sexualization
“The Christian perspective is much more concerned for the whole person. Our focus is on the development of healthy values, being responsible for one’s actions, one’s relationship with God, and generally what is right and wrong. The Christian perspective deal with, to a greater extent, how we treat members of the opposite sex and our deeper moral character.” (22)
Parents Job Description
Talk
Role Model with Honesty and Integrity
Positive Peer Influence
Grace & Forgiveness
Something is better than nothing