Tag Archives: Coaching

General

HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

Hello. I’m Micheal and I am the executive director and pastoral coach for Kicking at the Darkness, a ministry dedicated to providing HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH to Pastors and Church Teams. 

I don’t need to tell you that ministry is one of the most challenging professions on planet earth. Loving and Leading people with everything that you are and everything that you have is emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually draining. After a few seasons of frustrations and fatigue, it is inevitable that disappointment can set in.

After 20 years in local church ministry, I grew tired of seeing good men and women in ministry lose confidence in their calling, wrestle with difficult people and processes, and, ultimately, exit the ministry for good. In this new season, I believe that God has called me to serve the church by serving pastors. If you are a church leader, I want to come alongside you to encourage and equip you to continue in ministry with all your heart, mind, spirit, and body. Kicking at the Darkness is ministry care for those who minister. 

What do I mean by helping you gain HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH in yourself and your ministry.

First, Hope is NOT a pie-in-the-sky dream that is unrealistic and unattainable. Hope is defined as “a reasonable expectation that something good may happen.” This “reasonable expectation” comes from a confidence that REMEMBERS God’s redemptive acts in the past, TRUSTS God’s faithfulness in the present, and BELIEVES God’s goodness for the future. 

The Apostle Paul describes God as “The God of HOPE.” 

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Joy, Peace, and an overflowing of Hope are the result of staying connected to the God of Hope.

Next is Clarity. Once you believe that things will get better you need a plan and a vision to move forward. 

In most ministry settings, whenever issues or problems arise leadership teams can get caught up in the Frustration Loop. Discuss… debate… deliberate… discuss… debate… deliberate… “Look kid’s, Parliament… Big Ben.” What we need are systems and processes in place that help us identify what the real issues are, the courage to discuss openly, and solutions that concrete action steps to solve issues permanently.

Finally, you need Strength to endure and persevere to all that is to come – the good, the bad, the unknown, and the unexpected. How is your health? How is your mental and emotional state? Are you getting enough rest? There are Habits that help us ensure that when the difficult seasons occur, we have done what we can to prepare ahead of time and increased our capacity to weather the storm whether it’s a light drizzle or a Category 5 hurricane.

How can I help you today?

There are a few avenues that we are developing to help meet your needs and provide a system and process for HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH. 

The first is 1:1 Coaching. Whether IN-PERSON, ON the PHONE, or VIDEO-CHAT we can meet on a schedule that works for you. This is an opportunity for you to share whatever is happening in your ministry with an objective, neutral person outside of your church. During our time you’ll receive encouragement and help to process options, decisions, and action-steps. I will also pray over you at the end of each meeting. 

  • Perhaps things are really bad right now and you just need someone to vent to and hear what’s going on in your heart and in your head. I can help you with that.
  • Maybe you know what needs to happen or you have some ideas for the future but you need some help identifying and taking the next steps necessary to make the vision a reality. I can help you with that.
  • Or maybe you are looking to build up and reinforce some areas of your life that you need in order to make the most of your life and ministry. I can help you with that.

Another way that Kicking at the Darkness is providing HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH is through working with Church Teams to create systems and processes to BUILD TRUST, INCREASE UNITY, and DRIVE VISION. The truth is that the HEALTH of the Ministry Leadership determines the EFFECTIVENESS of the entire Church. I enjoy working with church leadership teams in resolving differences and learning to work through conflict. I love helping teams identify and implement a set of Core Values that define HOW they will work together. I get excited when Teams TRUST one another, attack CHALLENGES, and CELEBRATE wins for the Kingdom. How good and pleasant it is when Church Staffs work well together and actually enjoy working together! (Psalm 133:1)

Beyond 1:1 Coaching and Working with Church Teams, I am also working on developing resources to help…

  • Church Leaderships UNDERSTAND and RECOGNIZE the need to Prioritize, Plan, and Protect times of Rest for the entire staff so that leaders can lead from a place of peace and strength.
  • Teaching Pastors to develop and implant a Year-Long Preaching Calendar to get a handle on their schedule and prep time.
  • Providing direction and facilitating Staff Retreats to Pray and Plan the year so that team can build unity and cast vision.
  • Dealing with Issues (people, process, programs) Once and For All with Grace and Intentionality so that the Gospel will be unhindered by strife and conflict

If any of this sounds like something that you need and want – if I can be useful to you in any way, let me share with you how we can connect to see how Kicking at the Darkness can best serve you.

First, Go to KickingattheDarkness.com. There you can schedule a FREE 45-Min Spiritual Care and Coaching Call. During our time together, I want to hear about the challenges you’re facing and pray over you. After the call, we can work together to determine how best to move forward to provide you or your team with the HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH you need in your life and ministry.

Also on the site, you can Partner with Kicking at the Darkness through becoming a Prayer Partner or to donate to the ministry. Our goal for 2022 is to have the solid support of 300 people who love ministers and the church, believe in this ministry, and who pray regularly for ministers facing challenges. Kicking at the Darkness is a registered 501(c)(3) so a gift of any amount will help provide ministry coaching and spiritual care at minimal cost to individual church leaders. You gift will help me, help them.

I am also on all the socials. Connect with me. Let’s be friends! 

Instagram

Facebook

To wrap up, a few years ago I was I was in the thick of it. Life was good… but it was hard. We had a young family – two kids 3 and 1. It seemed like every 18 months some major crisis was happening in our church leadership and body. I had recently transitioned from one position to another. Someone encouraged me to reach out to a coach who specialized in helping small church pastors. This coach helped me in so many ways both personally and professionally. He listened, gave counsel, and encouraged me. He empowered me to make decisions and take responsibility for my life and ministry. My circumstances didn’t change… but my perspective radically shifted. Where I didn’t think things could ever get better, I found the HOPE to believe that would. Where I couldn’t see a way forward, I discovered the CLARITY I needed to move ahead. Where I needed to grow my capacity, I gained STRENGTH in those areas.

This is what I want for you and your ministry. I know a significant number of ministers are looking to exit ministry all together right now. If that’s you, let’s talk before you make that decision. If you have it in you to go another season… let’s partner together to make a your next season your BEST SEASON in life and ministry.  

General

Get Your Hope Here

We could all use a little hope.
 
Or a lot.
 
Hope comes from our ability to look forward in anticipation toward a goal or a specific time. In addition, Hope requires a reasonable amount of confidence that the thing you desire or the dream you have for your life can actually exists or has the possibility become a reality. Hope is like an oxygen tank on Everest. When you have one you have a lifeline that will help you on your journey.
 
In contrast, Hopelessness is the inability to look ahead or to live in expectation of the future. Someone who has come to a place of Hopelessness has done so because they have little confidence and no reason to believe that there is a way forward. Just like oxygen, we need Hope if we are going to survive the journey ahead.
 
That’s why the season we are in right now is difficult. That vacation you were looking forward to… cancelled. Your big wedding plans… curtailed. That project at work… discontinued. The Hopelessness sets in because you do not even have confidence that the new dates will work. We can’t see the end of these ever-changing regulations and so you have no reason to believe that this new guideline will actually accomplish anything.
 
If you are going to Live and Lead effectively you need HOPE for the journey ahead. You need HOPE because your people need HOPE.
 
I want to provide you with some HOPE.
 
HELP –
 
In your life and leadership you will face obstacles, setbacks, and seasons where you will feel stuck, squeezed, and stretched beyond your current capacity. You will need to move beyond your current reality and begin working toward a preferred future. However, hopelessness sets in because too often the task seems too hard, the problems seem too big, and you wonder if you’re up to the challenge. You are capable of making changes in your current situation but you most likely need some help. I want to help you work through issues, set goals, and equip you to solve the problems you are facing. So, consider for a moment… where could you use some help?
 
OBJECTIVITY –
 
When we are in the think of a tense and difficult situation, too often we get tunnel vision and become focused on only a few things… most often the person or problem causing the most noise. The problem is that sometimes we get focused on the wrong things because we can’t see the bigger picture in the moment. When someone criticizes us we get hung up on the words and tones they used. The untruth of unfair criticism or the truth in constructive criticism gets lost in the noise. Sometimes we feel a huge burden about an issue, we feel ashamed because we don’t measure up, or we can’t see the next move because we can’t see around problems or people right in front of us clamoring for our attention. In moments like these, you need an objective voice to come alongside of you listen without judgement, refocus you through asking questions, and direct you toward a new way through the issues you’re facing. Ask yourself… in what areas could you use a fresh set of eyes and ears to help you see a bigger picture?
 
POSSIBILITIES –
 
Desperation and despair begin to over take us when we feel as though we have nothing left to give and no viable options to take. The truth is that while there are great problems facing you there are also great possibilities if you are willing to explore and discover them. The great thing about life and leadership is that man incredible man and women have gone before us. They have faced great problems as well and through their example they have shown us that it is possible to face your fears, overcome obstacles, and move forward into your preferred future. If you cannot see any way forward… what are some areas you could benefit from being able to see new possibilities in order to resolve an issue you are facing?
 
ENCOURAGEMENT –
 
Encouragement is the lifeblood that keeps our internal heart, soul, and mind alive and encouragement helps us move forward. Unfortunately, we are living in an encouragement-deficient world. Working with and for people can be draining because people are quick with cutting criticism and slow to offer genuine encouragement. Too often, leaders grow bitter and their heart, mind, and soul atrophies because they go months without hearing a single word of encouragement or blessing. As a leader, part if your job is encouraging others. I want to encourage you. Let me ask you… Could you use some encouragement right now?
 
I know that you could uses some HOPE in your life and leadership. Right now you are facing heartbreak, heartache, and heartburn. What is happing in you is more important than what is happening to you. In the midst of this season remember that HOPE comes from working through the suffering so that you can gain perseverance for your leadership journey. What you are facing is developing your heart, soul, and mind for all that is ahead. Your character is being formed, right now, even in the midst of hard things. Let’s go after some HOPE together.
 
Questions:
 
What are 3 things that are giving you HOPE right now?
What are 2 things that are making it difficult to have HOPE?
What’s 1 thing you can do today to give HOPE to someone else?
General

Welcome to Kicking at the Darkness

My name is Micheal Felker and I want to welcome you to Kicking at the Darkness.

Like you, over the years I have collected social media channels and have run the cycle of being enthralled with them to being bored to ignoring them to being outraged to feeling a little sleepy to being even more outraged to settling into a pretty chill habit of mindlessly scrolling, liking, and occasionally posting.

My passion is people and so I enjoy the aspects of catching up with friends and posting inspirational pictures of natural wonders and really awesome bbq. However, since the world went on lock-down a few months ago a new vision for my social media channels has formed in my heart, mind, and soul. I have seen over the course of the quarantine that people on social media desire connection like never before, they want to be inspired, they want to be challenged.

Yes, some have used this time to push conspiracy theories or to highlight controversies and divisive rhetoric.

Despite all this, I want to be intentional about this space and the things I put out into the world. I want a post from me to encourage, challenge, and inspire you when it comes through your newsfeed.

I’m launching Kicking at the Darkness because I want men and women to HAVE HOPE, GAIN CLARITY, and to BE STRENGTHENED in every area of their lives.

I want to GIVE YOU HOPE. For me HOPE comes in the form of Helping others, gaining Objectivity, exploring Possibilities, and providing Encouragement.

I want you to GAIN CLARITY about the people and things that are most important to you. I want to help inspire you to set goals for yourself and your family. I want to help you see the future by rising above the present noise and working through past problems.

Finally, I want to STRENGTHEN EVERY AREA of your life. A few years ago I faced a pretty serious health scare. As I begin to work towards a place of health I discovered that my Physical life was greatly impacted by my Mental state. Then I found out that my Emotional life also informed other areas of my life. Oh, and don’t forget how external relationships play a part in shaping your internal life. It’s one thing to preach spiritual consistency and the importance of internal congruency to others. It’s a wholly, holy thing to embrace that truth and pursue it yourself.

So this is what I’m setting out to do… I want to GIVE HOPE, help you get CLARITY, and equip you to gain STRENGTH in every area of your life.

Here is what I’m asking from you.

Will you please engage with me in this new direction? I will do my part to provide you with encouragement, teaching, challenges, and questions. I am asking you to give me some feedback from your own life and experience. I am asking you to ask great questions and challenge me to help find the answers or solutions. I am asking for your partnership in this journey.

The concept of Kicking at the Darkness comes from a song by my favorite little band out of the Northside of Dublin, U2. In the song, God Part 2, Bono sings that he heard a singer on the radio late at night saying that he’s “gonna kick The Darkness til it bleeds daylight.” (The band is actually referencing a real song by an artist who inspired them named Bruce Cockburn.)

I have been captivated by this idea since the very first time I heard this lyric and it has been a forceful and driving image that has helped me face and overcome many of the battles I’ve faced.

In some of the very darkest moments of my life, when The Darkness has threatened to close in around me, I have found that once you start kicking back… The Light begins to shine through the cracks. Once you enlist others in the fight alongside you, the battle is all but won.

Now, I want to partner with you to help you in your fight Kicking at the Darkness. If you need some HOPE, CLARITY, or STRENGTH in your life and leadership… let’s get to work.

How can I help you?