But now I see.

On Saturday, January 31, I brought my kids with me up to the building so that I could get some last minute things prepared for Sunday services. I put a movie on for them in the auditorium and noticed that the image wasn’t very clear. It was fuzzy, out of focus.

I didn’t really give it much thought. Maybe my allergies were acting up? Perhaps I had moved the projector out of focus?

On Sunday (Feb 1) though, the images on the screen remained blurry during our worship time. I asked a half dozen people if the screen looked ok to them. I was the only one who thought it was hazy. I could still read my notes from my iPad and I was able to read from my Bible though. I just figured that I was tired or my eyes were dry. Little did I know that that was the last time I would be able to see much of anything for at least another 3 weeks.

My vision started to deteriorate day by day. By the following Thursday, I couldn’t see faces clearly beyond about 4 feet. I went to my eye doctor that day and he changed my prescription and ordered me some new glasses.

That night I decided that I should no longer drive at night. On Saturday, I gave my keys to my wife and decided that I could no longer drive during the day.

Sunday (Feb 8), I delivered the hardest sermon of my life. I couldn’t see the faces of the congregation. I could (sort of) read from my notes but anything beyond my stand was completely unrecognizable. I tried to watch the Grammys that night but I couldn’t tell who was singing what. In a matter of about 6 hours I had lost most of my vision and I was trapped in a world of blur. That’s when a panic began to flood over me.

What was happening? What was wrong with me? 

On the following Tuesday (Feb 10) I was able to see an ophthalmologist. After looking at my vision, he sent me to get some blood work done. The results would not come back for another couple of days. In the meantime, I was able to get into my doctor’s office (an even longer story) to see his PA and get some other tests run.

On Friday morning (Feb 13), the ophthalmologist called me with the results of the test. It was not good.

“You’re blood sugar levels are 698. You need to see your doctor immediately!”

Wait… what!?! 698?! How can that even be possible? 

I should have been in a coma… or worse. Thankfully, I was able to see my doctor that afternoon where he told me the news… “You have type-2 Diabetes.”

They gave me a glucose monitor and some medication and sent me home.

I was devastated but determined. 

Devastated that I had let this happen. Determined to do something about it. 

Over the next week I was able, through diet changes, exercise, and medication, to bring my sugars back into normal ranges. My eyesight slowly returned  as everything in my body turned back to normal.

In fact, in the last 2 two weeks my eyesight has been completely restored. I am no longer taking any medications and my blood sugar numbers remain in the normal ranges.

I’m eating better, have lost a little weight, and I am working out every single day. I’m still processing what happened and thankful that God was watching over me, providing me with love and support, and guiding me to the right people who could help.

Here’s what I’m learning through this:

1) Health is Wholistic.  It was’t enough that I was running if my diet was in the toilet. If your ignoring your emotional health it will have an impact on your spiritual and physical health. You have to fight for health in every area of your life.

2) I am loved. I had so many people praying for me, checking up on me, caring for me, and helping me. On the days I could drive, friends and family drove me to work or to the doctor. Even though I couldn’t read them 9at the time), I was blessed by every message and text. When you are going through a difficult time, knowing you are loved can make all the difference.

3) The Power of Small Change. While it may seem that I have had to completely overhaul my lifestyle in a matter of a few weeks, the truth is that I have leveraged small changes for big results. In stead of working out every other day or so, I’ve added one workout a day. Instead of drinking sodas, I’ve changed to water. Instead of junk food, I’ve eaten more vegtables (which I loved more than sweets even before this). Don’t be overwhelmed by everything that you may have to change. Just change something… now.

So this is my new normal. I’ll eat a salad for lunch. I’ll see a dietician today to get some more insight into how I can better take care of myself. I’ll hit the treadmill later tonight.

I just wanted to bring everyone up to date with what’s been happening. Kicking at the Darkness has always been about helping me share and process what’s going on inside and around my life. Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to share this with you today.