All posts by mjfelker1980

Axiom 2: Family First

October 5, 2011 mjfelker1980

It has been a pretty crazy week around the Felker household. Our son came down with the stomach bug late last week. My wife got it in the wee small hours on Sunday. I thought I could escape the plague but I was infected and early Monday morning I was down for the count. The only thing I could do on Monday was lay still and hug my pillow. I absolutely hate being sick.

Thankfully, this bug was only a 24hr things and so we are all on the mend. However, this family fight against the stomach virus really threw me off my schedule. I lost a whole day at work and had things pretty booked on Tuesday so I was unable to post my second installment in the Leadership Axioms series. So, with that said, let’s talk about this week’s Leadership Axiom.

I want to live and die by this week’s axiom. I have tried to make this belief a core part of who I am and I have said this statement for so long that have forgotten where and when I first heard it. I didn’t coin this phrase but I wouldn’t care if it were inscribed on my tombstone. For me, as a minister, this should be no pithy, quaint saying. This is life and death stuff we are talking about here.

Are you ready? Here it is…

I refuse to sacrifice my family on the alter of ministry.

No question. This is one of the most important things I can do to succeed and to guarantee that I leave a legacy of faith and not a hollow, charred out crater of a life with collateral damage strewn from here to kingdom come.

Too much? I don’t think so.

I’ve heard too many stories. Seen too much hurt.

Nothing- and I mean NOTHING- is more important to me than my wife and my son. If I don’t get MY FAMILY right, I really don’t believe I can get anything right.

I’m not perfect. If I don’t stay on top of my schedule it can quickly squeeze out any and every good intention that I have. Here are a few things I try to do to make sure that I am putting my family first.

Calendar- As best as I can, I do not make definitive plans with a meeting (in the evening) or weekend event without first consulting Sandy and synching our calendars. We share an iTunes account so we can see each others calendar changes and appointments on our iPhones. This isn’t fool proof but it is a great way to defer to one another. For weekend things, Sandy gets first dibs at me. In fact, there is something coming up in the next few weekends that I’ll have to skip out a little early on because we are going to the pumpkin patch. No way I am missing that!
Schedule-Free Night(s)- Last year, we had at least two week nights where I did not have a regularly scheduled event in the evenings. We essentially had Monday and Thursday nights to ourselves. This meant that we could spend quality and quantity time with each other on a consistent basis. If I needed to go to a game or meet with someone or do something that I needed to do for ministry there was some margin. Things are a bit different this season. We still have our Monday nights but I am teaching Financial Peace on Thursdays until December. The decision to teach was made jointly by Sandy and I with the understanding that we would have to be extra intentional about protecting our family time on Mondays. Our Saturdays have opened up quite a bit this season so there have been plenty of opportunities to catch up on together time (too cute?).
Communication- As you can see in the last to sections, Sandy and I try to constantly communicate with one another. Communicating dates and times are important but what we strive to do is communicate expectations. The goal is honesty with one another. “I need more time here.” “Can you help me with this?” “I really need this to happen?” “Is it ok if we…” Marriage and Ministry cannot coexist without clear communication and a willingness to be open about expectations and needs. My default is to keep working.
Team Work- This may not work as well with everyone but… When it comes to ministry, we are a team. We go together and we work well together (painting a room together is another story though!). We worked together at a school right out of college, we worked together in youth ministry, and now we are trying to see what working together in this new role looks like. I love that in my ministry, my wife can take part and that she has the freedom to have her own ministry. We really strive to be a team in the best sense of the word. In running, they say that a way to improve and to reach new levels of success is to have a partner to pace with. We are that partner for one another.
Improvement- I do not want to come across as though I have learned the secret to protecting my family and my schedule. I am way too young to have it all figured out. Everything is a work in progress. My ideal would be that once a week we could sit down over coffee with pen and calendars in hand and map out the perfect week. I would love to do that!!! That’s the goal I want to work towards but we are a long way off. I am missing those Thursday night right now- but we both feel that offering FPU is something we can and should make time for. At the end of this season we will readjust and see what is needed. In fact, these conversations have already begun.

The only secrets I have learned are that I must embrace the truth that MY FAMILY COMES FIRST and that we must be FANATICAL about finding ways to make that truth a reality.

I ask that you pray for us that we will continue to choose to make our family a priority and I challenge you to embrace the best way to ensure that you leave a legacy of faith for everyone that you minister to. There is life in this statement. There is ultimately freedom in this statement. Don’t be another burnout. Don’t let you family be another statistic.

Say it loud. Say it proud.

“I refuse to sacrifice my family on the alter of ministry!”

Discipleship, Faith in Action, Preaching, Unremarkable

Convert Life to Truth

September 30, 2011 mjfelker1980

“I once heard a preacher who sorely tempted me to say I would go to church no more.

A snow-storm was falling around us.

The snow-storm was real, the preacher merely spectral, and the eye felt the sad contrast in looking at him, and then out of the window behind him into the beautiful meteor of the snow.

He had lived in vain. He had not one word intimating that he had laughed or wept, was married or in love, had been commended, or cheated, or chagrined. If he had ever lived and acted, we were none the wiser for it. The capital secret of his profession, namely, to convert life into truth, he had not learned.

Not one fact in all his experience had he yet imported into his doctrine. This man had ploughed and planted and talked and bought and sold; he had read books; he had eaten and drunken; his head aches, his heart throbs; he smiles and suffers; yet was there not a surmise, a hint, in all the discourse, that he had ever lived at all.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

RWE delivered this story 173 years ago and in some churches the problem still remains.

Preacher, if the people who gather to hear you connect their lives to the Way, the Truth, and the LIFE see that there is NO LIFE within you- don’t be surprised when they don’t come back. If you cannot convert LIFE– your relationship to Jesus- to TRUTH– that a relationship with Jesus is real and vibrant and life transforming and to be lived out- then sleep in this Sunday. Do not bother delivering that sermon you pulled out of your filing cabinet this week.

When I step into the pulpit each Sunday or when I stand beside my table to teach class or when I open up the Word over a cup of coffee with a friend the whole point is to connect our lives to the life of Jesus.

In the Incarnation, Jesus became flesh and bone, blood and sinew. He was real. His words were alive. He is still real. His words are still alive.

In John 15:5-8, Jesus gives us the key to converting life to truth. He says to us, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”

If you want people to be moved by the Son of God you’ve got to let them know that he moves you. If you want to see others transformed by Jesus Christ, than they have to know that he radically transforms you.

Otherwise, you might persuade them to skip out or check out… Permanently.

This Sunday, make sure you connect Life to Truth.

Leadership, Leadership Axioms

Change Equation

September 27, 2011 mjfelker1980

Yesterday I teased a new weekly feature here for the blog where I plan on writing about some of my favorite Leadership Axioms that have impacted me personally and professionally over the years. I define a Leadership Axiom as a short, concise phrase that conveys a leadership truth or principle. These axioms also need to be memorable and applicable to everyone. The first Leadership Axiom comes from Pastor Mark Batterson from National Community Church in Waschington, DC.

Pastor Mark believes that from time to time a leader and/or the leadership team should get away from the hustle and bustle of day-to-day ministry for a time of reevaluation. In fact, if it is possible step away from the office, get out, and get away. Or as he says it:

Change of Pace + Change of Place = Change of Perspective

What a great equation! I love it because I have benefitted from it time and time again. Without fail when I unplug from my normal surroundings and schedule I see a huge benefit all the way around. Getting outside of the normal routine does wonders for my creativity, my focus, and my productivity.

Examples of how I put this axiom to work:

Going to the coffeehouse. As you can see from the picture above, I never go to the coffeehouse alone. Sometimes, I just have to get away from my email, Twitter, and phone calls to spend sometime reading or taking notes. I strap on my headphones and start up my study playlist and get to work. 30 minutes in a coffeehouse equals at least 1 hour of uninterrupted focus.
Attending conferences. Attending conferences offer both a change of pace and a change of place. Next Wednesday, we are piling into Edna, the church van, and hitting up the Catalyst Conference in sunny Atlanta, GA- or the ATL as I like to call it. This will be my 9th Catalyst ATL appearance and my first as a lead minister. The normal routine will be thrown out the window in order to make room for a couple of days of being challenged and pushed with new ideas and fresh thoughts. Love, love, love it!
Longer lunches. Much like my coffeehouse trips, I never go to lunch empty handed. I always take a book or my Moleskine with me to capture new thoughts and notes. Sometimes I just need to sit with my thoughts and big ole soda to get unstuck or experience a creative break through.
Bookstore Crawl. Remember Borders Bookstores? (Too soon?) I get some of my best ideas while “wandering” up and down the aisles of my local bookstore. The pictures on the covers, the titles, philosophies, display stands, you name it feed my creative juices and help me clarify my thoughts.
Retreats Nothing helps you change your perspective like getting away from it all on an extended retreat. I am actually working on scheduling some time away before the end of the year. In fact, in the next 3-6 months, it is my hope that I can take a personal retreat, a ministry staff retreat, and a church leadership team retreat. These don’t need to be a week long excursions into the woods where you forage for berries armed with only a flashlight and your Bible. You just need to get away for a set period of time (usually 24-48hrs), unplug your phone, and spend an extended period of time focused on listening to God. That’s it.

Change of Pace + Change of Place = Change of Perspective

I’d encourage you to incorporate this great Leadership Axiom into your routine and it is my hope that you will benefit from this truth as much as I have.

Next week’s axiom will be about Vision. You won’t want to miss this one.

Leadership, Leadership Axioms, Personal Leadership, Resources

Truth Bombs

September 26, 2011 mjfelker1980

Leadership Axioms are short, concise phrases that convey a leadership truth or principle. Over the years I have collected quite a few of these little sayings and tried to incorporate these concepts into my leadership philosophy and practice. Often times I wish that I had come up with some of these myself. After talking with a friend about some of these Leadership Axioms, I’ve decided to write about a few of the ones that I have benefited from the most. It is my hope that these leadership concepts will help you as you lead yourself and the people God has entrusted into your care.

There are 2 great things about Leadership Axioms:

First, they are short and memorable. In his book, Axiom: Powerful Leadership Proverbs, Bill Hybels compares these short statements on leadership to many of the proverbs found within scripture in that they can serve up “a truckload of weighty wisdom in bite-size chunks.” If something is going to make it’s way into my busy schedule it has to be short, sweet, and deliver maximum life-change goodness. Leadership Axioms fit that bill.

Secondly, these truths are transferable. You don’t have to lead 1000 people or work in a mega-church to learn from and incorporate these truths into your leadership. They work because they are true not because you have a huge budget or a giant platform. That’s the great thing about values and principles- everyone can afford them.

To kick off this series, I’ve chosen one of my favorite Leadership Axioms from Pastor Mark Batterson. I’ll be posting these on Tuesdays from now on so please check back tomorrow for the Greatest Leadership Equation Ever. (Math and Leadership rarely overlap so this axiom is extra special.)

What are some of your favorite Leadership sayings or truths? Join the conversation on Facebook or Twitter.

Best Practices, Personal Leadership, Planning, Prayer, Preaching

Plan Your Work

September 19, 2011 mjfelker1980

I had a fabulous weekend at the Austin City Limits Music Festival. ACL celebrated it’s 1oth Anniversary in style with big name artists like Coldplay, Kanye, Stevie Wonder, My Morning Jacket, and Arcade Fire. I got to see some of my favorites too including Ray Lamontagne, Brandi Carlile, Cee Lo Green, Iron & Wine, and, a new favorite, Ryan Bingham and the Dead Horses. I had a blast and I hope I can attend this festival again.

The festival gave me an opportunity to relax and rest but it also gave me a chance to get some planning done. I spent most of Saturday and Sunday planning out my preaching calendar. I already have everything laid out through the end of the year but after this weekend I have the next 10 months of my preaching calendar planned out. For me, this is huge and very exciting.

I believe that planning ahead is a great way to trust in the Spirit and allow him to move through the entire process from prayer to planning to study to execution. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been listening to God, praying, and asking for wisdom in planning this calendar and I feel like God blessed me this weekend as he helped me put it all together.

Here are 4 Reasons I Am Preparing My Preaching Calendar Months in Advance:

1) Planning ahead simply helps give me DEPTH in my preaching through advanced studying and preparation.

2) Planning ahead aids in giving the Spirit room to help me share the message of Jesus more CREATIVELY. (Note: I believe that it is next to impossible to go deep and/or be creative at the last minute.)

3) Planning ahead makes sure that I am being faithful to the WHOLE of SCRIPTURE and not simply preaching on the flavor (issue) of the month.

4) Planning ahead helps me ENLIST HELP in gathering resources, help, buy-in, prayers, and fuels an excitement among the leadership about what God will be saying to us. (I would like to see us move to sermon based small groups in 2012. To do this, you need help from other leaders and those leaders need material and time to pray, plan, and prepare.)

Are all of these series set in stone and immovable? No way! Will some of these series change or be scrapped? Maybe. What if God calls you to speak on something else? I’ll submit willingly and gladly!

I started planning out my teaching series about 4-5 years ago and it has helped make all the difference in the way I pray, plan, study, and prepare my lessons. Less pressure and more reliance on God to help and guide me means more encouragement and focus on what he has called me to do. That is a great place to be!

Awesomenessness

Gotta Laugh

September 14, 2011 mjfelker1980

This morning I came across a video that put a huge smile on my face. If you’ve seen X-Men: First Class you know that the second act of the film is basically a large training montage where Charles Xavier trains his new recruits to use their mutations for good. This video takes scenes from X-Men: FC and mashes them up with the second best montage music ever put on the big screen: “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” from Mulan.

Enjoy!

Note: The best movie montage music has to be “Gonna Fly Now” from Rocky.

General, Prayer

Planning to Pray

September 13, 2011 mjfelker1980

Unless I’m badly mistaken, one of the main reasons so many of God’s children don’t have a significant prayer life is not so much that we don’t want to, but that we don’t plan to. If you want to take a four-week vacation, you don’t just get up on summer morning and say, “Hey, let’s go today!” You won’t have anything ready. You won’t know where to go. Nothing has been planned. But that is how many of us treat prayer. We get up day after day and realize that significant times of prayer should be a part of our life, but nothing’s ever ready. We don’t know where to go. Nothing has been planned. No time. No place. No procedure. And we all know that opposite of planning is not a wonderful flow of deep, spontaneous experiences in prayer. The opposite of planning is the rut. If you don’t plan a vacation you will probably stay home and watch TV. The natural, unplanned flow of spiritual life sinks to the lowest ebb of vitality. There is a race to be run and a fight to be fought. If you want renewal in your life of prayer you must plan to see it. – John Piper

This hit me like a cast iron skillet to the face when I read it.

I plan out my reading. I plan out my lunches. I plan out my studying. I plan out everything… except intentional, specific times of prayer. I really feel that God laid this quote out for me in order to challenge my schedule and prep time.

I desperately desire to see God’s fruit from my prayer life and I’m unwilling to continue to stumble my way there. It’s not that I believe that scheduling time for prayer will curry God’s favor. It won’t! I’m under no illusion that I can or ever will be able to impress God with my prayer routine or words.

No, the fruit I desire is a deeper level of intimacy with the Father. I want a strong dependence on Him. I want to simply sit in his presence.

Piper is right. There is a race to be run and a fight to be fought. I’m taking steps right now to make sure my heart, soul, and mind is prepared and ready to go. It is time to plan for prayer!!!

General

Blowin In The Wind

September 12, 2011 mjfelker1980

I was looking back over some things I had written all the way back in 2004 and I came across this little gem about a 60 minutes interview with Bob Dylan.

I really enjoy listening to Dylan’s music. The depth of emotion in the music and lyrics is unmatched. What is even more fascinating is Dylan’s matter-of-factness about fame.

“His fellow musicians paid tribute to him when he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, joining him in a rousing rendition of his most famous song, “Like a Rolling Stone.” That song was recently named by Rolling Stone magazine as the No. 1 song of all time. And he has 12 other songs on their list of the Top 500.

“That must be good to have as part of your legacy,” says Bradley.

“Oh, maybe this week. But you know, the list, they change names, and you know, quite frequently, really. I don’t really pay much attention to that,” says Dylan.

“But it’s a pat on the back,” says Bradley.

“This week it is,” Dylan replies. “But who’s to say how long that’s gonna last?”

Leave it to Bob Dylan to remind us that everything is just blowin’ in the wind.

Discipleship

Follow

September 6, 2011 mjfelker1980

What does it mean to Follow Jesus? A few weeks ago, Steven Furtick preached a message where he compared following people on Twitter to following Jesus. To illustrate his point, he put his own account up on the big screen and then started following Justin Bieber. He had a lot of fun with this illustration.

When you “follow” someone on any social networking site the commitment is pretty shallow. For example I follow everyone from celebrities to internationally known ministers to students to college friends. Each one has something to say from the entertaining to inspirational to the mundane and, sometimes, the irrelevant. Most of the users on Twitter are following hundreds of people. That’s hundred of comments and voices to wade through each and every time you check you account. That is a ton of noise.

Pastor Steven drives home the difference between following people on a social networking site and following the King of Kings by saying this:

Here’s what I’m afraid of. I’m afraid that a lot of people when they say, “I’m a follower of Jesus” they’re following Jesus the same way I’m following Justin Bieber. Which is to say, “Ok, I’ll click the button. And Jesus , I’ll listen to what you have to say but I’m going to pick and choose what parts of what you have to say that I want to pay attention to. So if it works for me I’ll do it. If I feel like it, I’ll do it.”

But Jesus is not to be clicked on and followed.

He is to be worshipped. He’s to be obeyed. He’s to be revered. He’s to be respected. He’s to be honored. And he is not one among many. He is the One and Only God. And to follow him means- No other options. No other gods. “I’m doing what you say. I’m going where you lead. I’m denying myself. Taking up my cross. And I’m following you and only you! You are the leader of my life!“

Discipleship isn’t signing a card or raising your hand. It isn’t nodding in agreement or simply taking notes.

Jesus said that we are to love him with all of our Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength. Following Jesus requires that we pattern everything that we are after our Savior. No other options. No other gods.

Step your Follow Up.