This past weekend I preached a message called Marriage Maintenance as part of our Relationship Rescue series. I am passionate about helping couples identify and deal with issues in their marriage long before they become unmanageable problems.
I used the term maintenance because it is always easier to run maintenance checks than it is to go through a full on repair to fix what is broken.
Using Proverbs 5 as the main text of the message, I challenged our married couples to go through a 3 Point Marriage Inspection in order to assess the heath and life of their marriage relationship. This week I’d like to unpack some of the ideas I presented and offer a few resources for you to check out in order to help your marriage.
To me a marriage represents a microcosm of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. In the Gospel message, the lost are found, orphans become part of a family, and grace & mercy are extended to those who mess up. God created us for a relationship with him and with one another. In marriage a man and a women become one and set out in a new life with one another.
Marriage is an experience. In the 11.5 years I have been married it is overwhelming to think of all that we have experienced together. It is one thing to collect experiences but it is quite another to learn from those experiences.
Proverbs 5 starts with telling us that it isn’t the experiences that make the difference. It is our ability to lean into God and receive his discipline, wisdom, and learning.
“My son, pay attention to my wisdom, turn your ear to my words of insight, that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge.” (Proverbs 5:1–2 NIV11)
The writer of this Proverb has some pretty important things to tell us. He is saying, “Hey! Do not miss this! Pay attention. Get what I am about to say because it could make all the difference in you life.”
This is where we have to begin.
Marriage Maintenance has to be something that we are willing to engage in. It will take intentionally changing attitudes and behaviors. It will take asking hard questions and accepting personal responsibilities for failures and mistakes.
The truth is that God desires your marriage to be healthy and vibrant even more than you do! He wants your marriage to succeed even more than you do!
I want to encourage you to ask God to speak to you about your marriage relationship. Invite him to examine your heart and to change your old patterns into life-giving new expressions of faith. Before we begin, go to Him and ask for the wisdom to maintain your marriage over the long haul.
