In ministry, I like to say, “What matters, gets measured.” That’s why we look at attendance, new ministries, and community engagement in order to help us see what’s working, what’s not, and what are our big opportunities to improve.
With work or home it might be a little easier because we could use our income as an indicator. But what about our health, or our relationships, or our intellectual growth?
Now there is a great tool called the LifeScore Assessment that helps you do this in less than 10 minutes–and you can get it free for a limited period of time.
All you do is quickly rate yourself on a scale of 1-12 in each of life’s ten domains.
You read a series of statements that describe specific
situations and pick the one that most closely aligns
with where you perceive yourself to be. Each one
corresponds with a number, and those add up to your
LifeScore.
It’s incredibly simple. But I promise it will instantly
show you your opportunities to grow this year. In fact, if you took this assessment once a quarter you would have a built-in way
to measure your growth over time and stay motivated toward what matters most to you!
It’s 100% free but it’s just up for a little while. Take it now while you can:
P.S. If you want to improve something, start measuring it. The LifeScore assessment finally gives us an easy way to do this for every area of our lives. Here’s where to find out your number:
P.S.S. The ebook I posted last week is still available but for TODAY ONLY! Get Achieve What Matters in 2017. Don’t miss the opportunity to hear how some of today’s best leaders prepare for the new year.
My family and I had a great little vacation down in Marfa, TX staying in remote little area of the world connecting with God and one another. This is the 2nd year we’ve made this trip and it is well on its way to becoming a tradition in the Felker household.
Over the few days we were away, Sandy and I worked on preparing for the next year and began to set some goals as individuals, as a couple, as parents, and as ministry partners. One of the exercises we worked through was to express gratitude for what we have right now. We each wrote out 10 things that we are grateful for and here is what I wrote:
1) A Supportive, Uplifting Wife If you know my wife, she is the epitome of love, support, and encouragement.
2) Two Joy-full kids My children genuinely love one another and are so full of joy. They are growing up so fast and this trip was amazing because of them.
3) A healthy leadership team I love our leadership team at church and am grateful that God has brought us together and I am anxious to see what He has in store for us moving forward.
4) A Loving, Accepting Church Our church… LOVES. Plain and simple.
5) Wise Friends Grateful to the men and women around me who walk beside me, counsel me, challenge me, and model Christ for me.
6) Unlimited Resources We live in a day and age where you can access information 24/7. From books to podcasts to conferences to Skype… the resources to grow or get unstuck are everywhere.
7) An Active Mind A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
8) Insight to My Inners Over the last two years, God has granted me some important insights and understandings into how I tick, what brings me health, and what takes away from that health. And it has made all the difference.
9) A Body That Can Move A body is a terrible thing to waste.
10) It’s Not Too Late to Grow If you’re reading this… It’s not to late for you either. What are 10 things you are grateful for RIGHT NOW. Write them down, meditate on them, use them as fuel to get up and move. Go… right now… Its not too la
Last Fall I made a decision to have our Wednesday night Men’s Class meet in my office. As offices go, I’ve got a really great space. It is big. I’ve got a couch, glass panels that serve as dry erase boards. and a couple of FLÜRNGS (funny Swedish sound I call my IKEA chairs). The space can easily hold about 10-12 guys comfortably.
I was tired of having a conversation with a handful of guys stretched out across from one another in auditorium. Proximity leads to familiarity. You can’t get to know one another, trust one another, and do life with one another if you aren’t physically present with one another. Now, there is a different atmosphere and conversation happening during our times together.
This semester we are diving deep into this passage of God’s Word:
1 Corinthians 16:13–14 ESV
Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.
To act like men, God calls us to live out these 4 actions:
Be Watchful
Be Faithful
Be Strong
Be Loving
I need other men to help me do these things – personally, in my family, and professionally. I don’t know about you but I’m not content to just sit across the room from other guys and just stare at one another.
I’m looking for men that I can… Fight Beside… Read With… Argue With… Pray With…
Wednesday night classes can be a pain in the butt, I know. We are all busy, we’ve had a long day, and we probably have more work to do once we get home. However, Wednesday nights can be formative.
Wednesday nights can be an opportunity to grow in your relationships – with God, our friends, and other men who need Jesus as much as you do. Wednesday nights help us fulfill our responsibilities to one another. I don’t know what you’ve got on your plate or what might be holding you back from being with your Brothers in Christ tonight.
Don’t give in.
Get to church. Be present and engaged. Pray. Leave equipped to ACT LIKE A MAN… in the name of Jesus Christ.
Last night I listened to a short message from Dr. Tom Long, author of The Witness of Preaching and Bandy Professor of Preaching, Emeritus at Emory University, entitled, “It’s About Time.” The message is based on John 11:1-44:
“Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha.(This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair.)So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”
When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.”Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days, and then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”
“But Rabbi,” they said, “a short while ago the Jews there tried to stone you, and yet you are going back?”
Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours of daylight? Anyone who walks in the daytime will not stumble, for they see by this world’s light.It is when a person walks at night that they stumble, for they have no light.”
After he had said this, he went on to tell them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.”
His disciples replied, “Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better.” Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep.
So then he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead,and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.”
Then Thomas (also known as Didymus ) said to the rest of the disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.”
On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days.Now Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother.When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.
“Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died.But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”
Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”
Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die;and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
“Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”
After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him.When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.
When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.“Where have you laid him?” he asked.
“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
Jesus wept.
Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”
But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”
Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance.“Take away the stone,” he said.
“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”
Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”
So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me.I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”
When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!”The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.
Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”
You can watch Dr. Long below:
What I love about this little sermon is that Dr. Long masterfully weaves the story of Mary and Martha’s emotional reaction to Jesus’ intentional delay in saving Lazarus from death with personal and historical stories of how God shows up at just the right time, every time.
Long kept returning to two powerful thoughts over and over throughout his message.
First, Long brilliantly points out that our view of who is running out of time is skewed. It isn’t Life, Justice, or Hope that is out of time. Through His life, death, and resurrection Jesus proclaims that it is “Death… Injustice…Despair” that is running out of time. Isn’t this the promise of the Kingdom of God? God’s rule is breaking into the here and the now. While Death, Injustice, and Despair may be among the ruling class, their kingdoms are breaking apart from within. Their death certificates have already been printed and their time is truly running out!
The second phrase that Dr. Long uses to great effect is that while our culture may participate in and get bent out of shape because of what he calls “atheistic anxiety,” Jesus Christ is the Lord of Time itself. As I am learning in my own life, the fundamental theological truth of anxiety is that our fearfulness is misplaced and out of sorts with what we proclaim that we believe. Anxiety is rooted in the fear of man and what man can do to us. When we give into anxiety and fear concerning a human government, a tyrannical boss, a gossipy-busy body at church we are, in essence, proclaiming that these things are more powerful than Almighty God. We deny His power, His control, His love, and His care for us.
John 11 says to us all… Jesus, the Lord of Time, the Beginning and End, has enough power to raise someone from the dead. Surly, He strong enough to overcome any enemy that you are currently facing.
Dr. Long’s entire message is a great reminder that the Kingdom of God, established by Christ Jesus, is breaking in the here and now and we will experience it in full when Christ returns and there will be no more time.
Today is a BIG DAY as our kids and teens start a brand new school year. At the beginning of our worship service yesterday, I shared a handful of things that I am specifically praying over our kids this year and I invited our church to join me in praying everyday for our kids, families, teachers, and coaches. My hope is that this list will help you begin a prayer habit in your life and serve as a great starting place for you to pray with and for your kids this year.
God uses the number 12 over 180 times in scripture to signify holiness, completeness, and authority. Thinking of this, I wrote up a list in my journal of 12 areas of love and concern that I am entrusting God with when it comes to our kids and the 2015-2016 school year.
1) Strength – How you begin helps determine how you finish. My prayer is that our kids will begin this new year strong and that God will give them strength to endure through next May.
2) Boldness – In Acts 4, Peter and John were released from prison with the strict warning from the Jewish and Roman authorities not to speak or teach in the name of Jesus at all. In a culture that encourages Christians to keep faith private, the early church’s prayer for boldness is a great reminder and challenge for us all. “Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness.” (Acts 4:29)
3) Protection – “But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. Surely, LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield.” (Psalms 5:11–12)
4) Peace – The school year can awaken all kinds of anxieties. Let us pray that anxiety will not rule in the hearts of our kids and teens. “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)
5) Rest – As the school year goes on, let’s pray that in the midst of busy schedules, tests, events, and games that our kids will find time to pause, find margin, and experience real, lasting, life-giving rest. “Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay. You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” (Psalms 16:9–11)
6) Growth – Our kids will grow in every way imaginable – mentally, physically, relationally, emotionally, spiritually. My prayer is that they will experience the same growth that Jesus experienced as he grew up. “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.” (Luke 2:52)
7) Success – Success isn’t measured by a A on a test or GPA score. Success, for the Christian, is doing the will of God in all things. Romans 12:2 tells us that as we renew our minds so that we will have the mind of Christ, we come to understand, pursue, and be transformed. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2)
8) Relationships – Friends will determine the direction and quality of our lives. Share Proverbs 13:20 and challenge your kids to “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”
9, 10, & 11) Parents, Teachers, and Coaches/Directors – To His disciples, Jesus was the perfect embodiment of a loving parent, a committed teacher, and a challenging coach. The men and women who have dedicated their lives to serving our kids desperately need our prayers. Let’s commit to praying for the adults in our kids lives consistently and intentionally. “I thank my God every time I remember you.In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:3–6)
12) Worth – One of the greatest thing that I am praying over our kids is that they will see that their worth doesn’t come a grade on a test, an achievement on the field, or the number of awards the receive. We are loved by our Holy, Heavenly Father and find our worth in Him and Him alone. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
Today I want to talk with you about STRESS. I don’t know everything there is to know about stress but I do know 3 things:
1) There is no such thing as a stress-free life.
Jesus never promised us a stress-free life. In fact he promised just the opposite. In John 16:33, Jesus tells us, “In this world you will have trouble.” There really is only one thing you can count on in life and that is stress. (Death and taxes being two of the biggest offenders.) That’s the bad news.
The good news is found in Jesus’ promise: “I’ve told you these things, so that in me you may have peace… But take heart, I have overcome the world.”
Each of us have dealt with our own fair share of stress this year and unfortunately, as long as we draw breath on this planet, we will continue deal with stress. Jesus says that peace isn’t found when all of the stresses of life are gone. He tells us that we can have peace in Him even IN THE MIDST of the stress. The old saying is true: Know Jesus. Know Peace.
2) Even on its best day, leadership is full of stress. We can all swap stories from our most stressful days in leadership. Some days I look back on and think, “There was no classroom, book, or conversation that could have prepared me for having to deal with that particular issue.” (Ask me about the truck left in our parking lot overnight and the portrait of his beloved painted on the tailgate.) Tony Morgan’s book on leadership called, “Killing Cockroaches,” is the perfect picture of what it is like to deal with all the negative stresses in our lives and ministries. Headaches and pressure points arise from out of nowhere and we have to deal with them as fast as they come at us whether we want to or not. It’s just how it is.
There are the bad days of stress, but there are also the good days. Even on the good days, we experience stress. It is stressful to check in with our people. It can be taxing to lead and serve those whom we love and care for. People and their issues can be frustrating at every stage of life – babies, kids, teens, adults, and retirees. However, we get to share in their lives and help guide them from where they currently are to where God wants them be. We get to work side-by-side with them to build the Kingdom. It is rarely easy, but there are times when the stress pays off.
3) You’re never going to get it all done. You’re never going to get it all done. (I know I typed that twice.) One of the greatest sources of stress is our never-ending to-do list.
In Leadership: There is always going to be another problem. There is always going to be another budget issue. There is always going to be another meeting. There is always going to be another email to write. As long as you are in leaders, there is always going to be something else to do.
In Ministry: There is always going to be somebody else to reach for Christ. There is always going to be somebody else to disciple. There is always going to be another pastoral care visit. As long as you are in ministry, there is always going to be something to do.
In Life: There is always going to be another project to complete. There is always going to be a parenting issue to handle. There will always be relationships that need nurturing, repairing, or reviving. There is always going to be mistakes made. There is always going to be times when grace must be administered wether we have the strength or not. As long as you are alive, there is always going to be something to do.
Four Things You Can Do to Help You Manage Stress Today
The question you should be asking is not, “How can I eliminate stress from my life?” Instead, ask yourself, “How should I manage stress in my life?” You will never be able to eliminate stress but, you can minimize the consequences of stress in your life by engaging in some Stress Management Best Practices. Try these four on for size:
Be Still. Take a few minutes and simply be still. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb, close your door, and just sit, breathe, and simply be present. It will be ok. The world will not stop spinning. They will call back… they always do. I use an app called Headspace to help me meditate for 10 minutes each morning before I start my day. By pausing at the very beginning of the day it helps me focus and prepare mentally, physically, and emotional for whatever may lay ahead.
Pray. I can’t think of someone in scripture who had to deal with the stresses of leadership, ministry, and life more than David. Whether he was facing down literal giants like Goliath or the giant sin in his own heart; dodging spears from King Solomon or enemies on a battle field; herding sheep or wrestling bears David turned to God in prayer. No matter what you are facing today, God knows and would love for you to share your stresses with him. The book of Psalms is filled with prayers for every season and emotion. If you can’t find the right words to express what is on your heart, David has you covered.
Be Thankful. Paul tells us in Eph 5:15-20, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit,speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” We live is very stressful times but there is a simple antidote for feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out: Thankfulness. Instead of listening to Nirvana or Jason Aldean or Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo and the Morning Sports Crew on your way to work, turn off the radio and turn up the praise in your own heart. Simply begin each morning by listing at least 3 things you are grateful for. Keep a running list in your cleared or reminder app and refer back to it during the day when you are tempted to let stress steal your focus.
Rest. I’m giving you permission to rest. Don’t burn the candle at both ends. Rest is an important component to your health and your long-term ability to lead. I don’t get sick very often but, when I do, there is usually a direct correlation to the fact that I have not been sleeping as much as I should have. We all have seasons where we don’t get enough rest but when those seasons turn into eras, you are flirting with disaster. Go to bed 10 minutes earlier tonight. Put down your iDevice or turn off the tv. Use one of your vacation days to push pause. None of us would violate the 10 Commandments by murdering someone or building a golden calf to worship on the weekends. However, most of us have gotten way to comfortable violating the Sabbath and forgoing the rest that God has commanded for our lives. If your life has gotten out of rhythm, my bet is that you’ve for to long without getting enough rest.
Bonus: Want to find some rest “outside the box?” Studies have shown that taking a 15-20min “power nap” can have amazing results on your productivity, outlook, and overall health. Leadership guru, Michael Hyatt, has written a few compelling articles on the WHY behind taking a few minutes to rest in your day and HOW you can begin taking advantage of this powerful tool. Check out his article, 5 Reasons You Should Take a Nap Everyday or listen to his podcast on The Secret Power of Naps.
Exit Question:
What do you do to help manage the stress in your life? Leave your favorite Stress Management Best Practices in the comments and share what you do to manage the stress in leadership, ministry, and life.
Three Minutes – Reggie Joiner (Orange Parents)
This is the best reflection I’ve read this week on the events of Newtown and the struggle that we all face in its aftermath. This is what it looks like to hope and healing to those affected by this great evil.
It only took three minutes last Friday to remind us there is evil in the world, but those three minutes also showed there is good in the world too. I hope the lessons we learned from the families and leaders of Newtown will challenge and inspire us. Romans 12:21 says, “Don’t be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
The Importance of a Leader’s Heart – Michael Hyatt
I heard Hyatt talk about the Leader’s Heart at Catalyst Dallas in 2011. This post is actually the show notes for a great podcast based on his presentation. If you don’t listen to Hyatt’s This Is Your Life podcast, I’d encourage you to subscribe to it today.
Jerry Seinfeld Intends to Die Standing Up – NY Times
I love reading stories about artists and their craft. This a great article about a comedian who loves what he does and takes care to grow and hone his abilities.
When he can’t tinker, he grows anxious. “If I don’t do a set in two weeks, I feel it,” he said. “I read an article a few years ago that said when you practice a sport a lot, you literally become a broadband: the nerve pathway in your brain contains a lot more information. As soon as you stop practicing, the pathway begins shrinking back down. Reading that changed my life. I used to wonder, Why am I doing these sets, getting on a stage? Don’t I know how to do this already? The answer is no. You must keep doing it. The broadband starts to narrow the moment you stop.”
3 Things That Change Everything – Jon Acuff
Jon Acuff is the best. He is my favorite writer to go to when I need encouragement, a laugh, or a great dose of reality. This is a great example of his articles and his thinking.
If you told a 22-year old today that before he can change the world he has to work for 20 years, he’d giggle at you. Generation Y wants meaning now, not eventually and Generation X has been caught up in that momentum. Hope is boss.
I am a Princess – Disney
From the moment I found out that I was going to be a father to a baby girl, I started thinking through my “princess philosophy.” I struggled with wanting my daughter to embrace imagination and fantasy while at the same time avoiding an entitlement mentality. Not to mention the pressure that is placed on young women to pursue physical beauty, which is superficial, over and above virtues that are far more lasting and meaningful. I believe that being a Princess isn’t a ROLE to PLAY but a RESPONSIBILITY to LIVE OUT. To me, a Princess is a woman of strength, courage, honor, and service. That’s the woman I want my Princess to become. I saw this short film on Disney Jr a couple of weeks ago and I believe it sums up my “princess philosophy” beautifully. I am very thankful that the home of all things princess feels the same way I do.
(Full disclosure: I literally started crying while watching this. Fatherhood has softened me a bit.)
Unless I’m badly mistaken, one of the main reasons so many of God’s children don’t have a significant prayer life is not so much that we don’t want to, but that we don’t plan to. If you want to take a four-week vacation, you don’t just get up on summer morning and say, “Hey, let’s go today!” You won’t have anything ready. You won’t know where to go. Nothing has been planned. But that is how many of us treat prayer. We get up day after day and realize that significant times of prayer should be a part of our life, but nothing’s ever ready. We don’t know where to go. Nothing has been planned. No time. No place. No procedure. And we all know that opposite of planning is not a wonderful flow of deep, spontaneous experiences in prayer. The opposite of planning is the rut. If you don’t plan a vacation you will probably stay home and watch TV. The natural, unplanned flow of spiritual life sinks to the lowest ebb of vitality. There is a race to be run and a fight to be fought. If you want renewal in your life of prayer you must plan to see it. – John Piper
This hit me like a cast iron skillet to the face when I read it.
I plan out my reading. I plan out my lunches. I plan out my studying. I plan out everything… except intentional, specific times of prayer. I really feel that God laid this quote out for me in order to challenge my schedule and prep time.
I desperately desire to see God’s fruit from my prayer life and I’m unwilling to continue to stumble my way there. It’s not that I believe that scheduling time for prayer will curry God’s favor. It won’t! I’m under no illusion that I can or ever will be able to impress God with my prayer routine or words.
No, the fruit I desire is a deeper level of intimacy with the Father. I want a strong dependence on Him. I want to simply sit in his presence.
Piper is right. There is a race to be run and a fight to be fought. I’m taking steps right now to make sure my heart, soul, and mind is prepared and ready to go. It is time to plan for prayer!!!
I was looking back over some things I had written all the way back in 2004 and I came across this little gem about a 60 minutes interview with Bob Dylan.
I really enjoy listening to Dylan’s music. The depth of emotion in the music and lyrics is unmatched. What is even more fascinating is Dylan’s matter-of-factness about fame.
“His fellow musicians paid tribute to him when he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, joining him in a rousing rendition of his most famous song, “Like a Rolling Stone.” That song was recently named by Rolling Stone magazine as the No. 1 song of all time. And he has 12 other songs on their list of the Top 500.
“That must be good to have as part of your legacy,” says Bradley.
“Oh, maybe this week. But you know, the list, they change names, and you know, quite frequently, really. I don’t really pay much attention to that,” says Dylan.
“But it’s a pat on the back,” says Bradley.
“This week it is,” Dylan replies. “But who’s to say how long that’s gonna last?”
Leave it to Bob Dylan to remind us that everything is just blowin’ in the wind.
A total redesign has gone down here at Kicking at the Darkness. I am now using the Standard theme and am super impressed with everything under the hood.
If you get a few minutes, look around and tell me what you think. I’m excited and anxious to get back into writing mode.
