Too often we can get so caught up in the tasks and functions of leadership that we can forget to develop ourselves. Pastor Craig Groeschel of Life.Church says, “When a leader gets better, everyone gets better.” So, what are you doing to grow and develop yourself? Personal Development focuses on two key areas of your life: your Character (who you are) and your Capacity (your gifting and skills). As a leader, your Character must stay on pace with or exceed your Capacity. As a church leader, everything you do flows out of your relationship with Jesus. The impact of you ministry is dependent upon how deep you walk with Christ on a daily basis. As you seek to develop your Character and Capacity, ask yourself the following questions:
Who do I want to become over the next season of my leadership?
What am I currently doing that I need to keep doing?
What am I currently doing that I need to stop doing?
What do I need to start doing that might make a difference to my life and those around me?
PEOPLE DEVELOPMENT
Now that you’ve started working on developing the hardest person on your team (see above), it is time to pour into the people around you. Developing your people can be a challenge but it is absolutely the most rewarding part of leadership. Likely, you entered into this work not for accolades or awards but because you love people and you want to help them succeed. One way to begin developing your people is to invest your attention and time in getting to know them, affirming their gifts, identifying negative behaviors that need to change, and putting them in a position where they can excel. As you begin to develop the people around you, consider the following questions as you observe them at work:
What is something that I admire about this person that I can share with them?
What positive behaviors or areas of growth can I affirm with them?
What are some areas where I can encourage them to work through negative behaviors or attitudes that may be stunting their growth?
What is one way that you can help them level up or succeed in this current season?
PROCESS DEVELOPMENT
Just as the human body is made up of systems that work independently and interdependently to create a healthy person, your church needs systems and processes that work together to maintain a healthy, growing organization. The old saying is completely true: Your Systems are perfectly designed to get the results you are currently getting. If you are unhappy or dissatisfied with the results, get to work on creating and implementing a new system. In a church, there are a number of systems that either help or hinder people from experiencing the church’s desired results for their lives. If you want your people to serve, what are the steps you provide for volunteers to get involved? Are you having difficulty preparing a message each and every week? Take a look at your sermon writing process and see where you need to make adjustments. Get your team around the table and begin asking the following questions to help you design some systems to help you get things done:
What about this process is Clear/Working?
What about this process is Confusing/Broken?
What about this process is Missing?
If you could wave a magic wand, what would you change/add/improve about this process?
As a coach, I help individual church leaders and teams who are motivated to develop themselves, their people, and the church so that they can reach God’s full-redemptive potential. The bottom line is that healthy things grow. Healthy churches are led by men and women who are dedicated to being attentive to what God is up to in the world and who desire to join in on that work.
I want to help you become a church leader who loves and leads well. I offer a free 45-minute coaching call to help you assess if working with a coach can help you in your current ministry season.
As the Fall begins and school starts back, this season can bring new possibilities, problems, and a renewed purpose for you and your ministry. I’d love to connect with you to hear your story and work towards providing you some Hope, Clarity, and Strength.
Now that you are on the backside of Summer, I’m sure your attention is turning to the next school semester and the next season in ministry. As you may know I started Kicking at the Darkness to provide Hope, Clarity, and Strength to church leaders, their families, and their teams. I love ministers and want to see them grow and continue to serve from a place of health and resilience personally or professionally. I want to see church leaders gain traction to get moving or build on the momentum they may be experiencing.
I would love to offer my coaching and consulting services to you or your church. If it is helping facilitate discussions, do interviews, provide resources, or present a team building workshop for your team I would love to work with you. I am a certified “Leading From Your Strengths” facilitator and I think that this DISC-style assessment is great for assisting church teams in understanding themselves and the way they work (or don’t work) together.
I am available and open to creating a program or offering that is specifically tailored to your current needs and the direction you are working towards. Also, if you know of any other church leaders or churches who could use some Hope, Clarity, and Strength, please connect them with me. You can check out this one-sheet to get an idea of some of the ways I’ve helped Church Leaders and Teams get unstuck and moving forward.
Ministry is tough… a Coach can help you along the journey. I will to pray for you and your family, your leadership, and the work you are doing with your people. If you need anything to help you continue loving and leading, give me a call.
“Leadership is stewardship. It’s temporary and you’re accountable.”
This quote by Andy Stanley, pastor of North Point Community Church, kicks off one of my favorite podcasts. I have it memorized by heart and I think I do a pretty good Andy Stanley impersonation as I mimic his cadence and inflections each week as I listen to the introduction. More than just a great quote or motivational saying, Andy is right.
Those of us in leadership – whether it is in the church, in the workplace, or at home – have been given our position by God and he expects us to steward each moment to bring Him glory and honor.
Leadership is temporary. Solomon declares that there is a time for everything under the sun including the time we have been given to serve and lead. One day we will transition to a different role, the kids will leave the nest, and for some, retirement may come sooner than we would like. Like Steve Miller says, “Time keeps on slipping into the future.”
We are accountable to God for our leadership, too. One day, if we steward these gifts well we will hear Him say, “Well done good and faithful servant” or we will be confronted with a reality that because we were afraid, failed to plan well, or just were just plain lazy we left some things undone or missed opportunities God had in store for us.
I think that those of us who find ourselves in leadership positions inherently understand these truths but sometimes we struggle with how to connect our orthodoxy (right understanding) with real, tangible orthopraxis (right practices). Here are 3 Real Ways You Can Steward Your Leadership Well…
Steward your leadership well by honoring God in everything you do in every area of your life. The Hebrew word for Honor is kabed and it has a weightiness to it. It can be translated as honor, renown, and glory. When the Psalmist says in Psalm 86:9,12, “I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever” he is honoring God with everything that he is.
I love how Colossians 3:23–25 reads in The Message. Paul says, “Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you’ll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you’re serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being Christian doesn’t cover up bad work.”
A person of honor always gives their best effort in every area of their life. Are you stewarding the life God has given you to glorify Him in every aspect inside and out?
2) Steward your leadership well by leading during the time and in the place God has given you to lead. The day in and say out grind of leadership will test your faithfulness. There is always another person to visit, always another phone call make or email to send, another task to complete, and another project to begin. The problem for most of is not that we have to make choices between right and wrong or choose between good and bad. Tensions arise because we become paralyzed when we have to choose between right and almost right. We procrastinate because we have to choose between good and great. Leadership take discernment and wisdom. To me, wisdom isn’t knowledge. Wisdom is applied knowledge. We are faithful to our calling when we apply the knowledge we have obtained to make the most out of every opportunity presented before us.
Ephesians 5:15–17 (NLT) challenges us saying, “So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.”
A faithful leader is wise in how they use their time to accomplish the tasks God has given them to serve His people.Are you being faithful with the time and opportunities before you?
3) Steward your leadership well by humbly submitting your leadership to Jesus. The higher we climb in our leadership and the more things we accomplish the greater the temptation becomes to take full credit for everything good that happens in our lives. Of course the opposite is true. Sometimes things do not work out how we planned. The vision that we had for our lives and the people we serve can go off the rails. When this happens we can be quick to take all the blame. Some call this the Superman theory where leaders begin to believe that they are Superman and must take on every task, burden, pain, joy, celebration, and failure. A wise teacher once told me, “Don’t be quick to carry all the blame when something do not go the way you planned because that same attitude might cause you to be quick to take all the glory when something goes well.” That’s sound advice.
I’ll let you in on a secret that you already know… You are not Superman. Neither am I. We have no way of controlling every outcome of the decisions and choices we make in our leadership. However, we serve the One who knows all, is in all, and works all things – good and not so good – to His glory and the good of those who love Him.\ Proverbs 3:5–8 ESV) says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.”
An accountable leader humbly submits to Jesus and trusts Him with every aspect of their leadership. Are you trusting in the Lord with all your heart or are you leaning on your own understanding?
I love working with church leaders and teams to create solutions and systems to help them gain HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH around their biggest challenges. Today I was helping tackle an issue around providing soul care and coaching for staff and volunteers.
One of my favorite ways to facilitate these conversations is through using a whiteboard (or, like today, an easel pad) and my custom color-coded Post-it Notes.
When you utilize tools like these it increases spacial memory for everyone involved by helping them record and recall the information more quickly and with greater accuracy.
For me, the secret sauce in this entire process has been the small Post-it notes I use to organize and differentiate between the elements of conversation in group meetings.
I want to share my system with you in the hopes that maybe it will help you as you lead your next meeting or planning session.
Orange – Questions Blue – People Green – Tools Purple – Decisions Yellow – Comments
The first day of this process was filled with lots of Questions. Some of these were questions asked during the process, some are questions that are anticipated from others, and some are questions that will need answers by the time we are done. On the Green notes, some potential Tools were identified that would help guide the process or provide direction along that part of the timeline. I love seeing Purple because that means that some Decisions actually came out of the discussions! The lone Blue note for today is actually a reminder to get some clarity around who may still need to be a part of this process, who are the decision makers, and who might offer more input to help make this process a success. I have the Yellow Comment notes in a stack next to my laptop that I’ll review later tonight.
I hope this can be a helpful tool for you as you love and lead your team to work through big challenges together. If I can be useful to you in any way or answer any questions about this process… let me know,
What is ONE tool you use to facilitate discussions or organize meetings more effectively? . . . .
Hello. I’m Micheal and I am the executive director and pastoral coach for Kicking at the Darkness, a ministry dedicated to providing HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH to Pastors and Church Teams.
I don’t need to tell you that ministry is one of the most challenging professions on planet earth. Loving and Leading people with everything that you are and everything that you have is emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually draining. After a few seasons of frustrations and fatigue, it is inevitable that disappointment can set in.
After 20 years in local church ministry, I grew tired of seeing good men and women in ministry lose confidence in their calling, wrestle with difficult people and processes, and, ultimately, exit the ministry for good. In this new season, I believe that God has called me to serve the church by serving pastors. If you are a church leader, I want to come alongside you to encourage and equip you to continue in ministry with all your heart, mind, spirit, and body. Kicking at the Darkness is ministry care for those who minister.
What do I mean by helping you gain HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH in yourself and your ministry.
First, Hope is NOT a pie-in-the-sky dream that is unrealistic and unattainable. Hope is defined as “a reasonable expectation that something good may happen.” This “reasonable expectation” comes from a confidence that REMEMBERS God’s redemptive acts in the past, TRUSTS God’s faithfulness in the present, and BELIEVES God’s goodness for the future.
The Apostle Paul describes God as “The God of HOPE.”
“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Joy, Peace, and an overflowing of Hope are the result of staying connected to the God of Hope.
Next is Clarity. Once you believe that things will get better you need a plan and a vision to move forward.
In most ministry settings, whenever issues or problems arise leadership teams can get caught up in the Frustration Loop. Discuss… debate… deliberate… discuss… debate… deliberate… “Look kid’s, Parliament… Big Ben.” What we need are systems and processes in place that help us identify what the real issues are, the courage to discuss openly, and solutions that concrete action steps to solve issues permanently.
Finally, you need Strength to endure and persevere to all that is to come – the good, the bad, the unknown, and the unexpected. How is your health? How is your mental and emotional state? Are you getting enough rest? There are Habits that help us ensure that when the difficult seasons occur, we have done what we can to prepare ahead of time and increased our capacity to weather the storm whether it’s a light drizzle or a Category 5 hurricane.
How can I help you today?
There are a few avenues that we are developing to help meet your needs and provide a system and process for HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH.
The first is 1:1 Coaching. Whether IN-PERSON, ON the PHONE, or VIDEO-CHAT we can meet on a schedule that works for you. This is an opportunity for you to share whatever is happening in your ministry with an objective, neutral person outside of your church. During our time you’ll receive encouragement and help to process options, decisions, and action-steps. I will also pray over you at the end of each meeting.
Perhaps things are really bad right now and you just need someone to vent to and hear what’s going on in your heart and in your head. I can help you with that.
Maybe you know what needs to happen or you have some ideas for the future but you need some help identifying and taking the next steps necessary to make the vision a reality. I can help you with that.
Or maybe you are looking to build up and reinforce some areas of your life that you need in order to make the most of your life and ministry. I can help you with that.
Another way that Kicking at the Darkness is providing HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH is through working with Church Teams to create systems and processes to BUILD TRUST, INCREASE UNITY, and DRIVE VISION. The truth is that the HEALTH of the Ministry Leadership determines the EFFECTIVENESS of the entire Church. I enjoy working with church leadership teams in resolving differences and learning to work through conflict. I love helping teams identify and implement a set of Core Values that define HOW they will work together. I get excited when Teams TRUST one another, attack CHALLENGES, and CELEBRATE wins for the Kingdom. How good and pleasant it is when Church Staffs work well together and actually enjoy working together! (Psalm 133:1)
Beyond 1:1 Coaching and Working with Church Teams, I am also working on developing resources to help…
Church Leaderships UNDERSTAND and RECOGNIZE the need to Prioritize, Plan, and Protect times of Rest for the entire staff so that leaders can lead from a place of peace and strength.
Teaching Pastors to develop and implant a Year-Long Preaching Calendar to get a handle on their schedule and prep time.
Providing direction and facilitating Staff Retreats to Pray and Plan the year so that team can build unity and cast vision.
Dealing with Issues (people, process, programs) Once and For All with Grace and Intentionality so that the Gospel will be unhindered by strife and conflict
If any of this sounds like something that you need and want – if I can be useful to you in any way, let me share with you how we can connect to see how Kicking at the Darkness can best serve you.
First, Go to KickingattheDarkness.com. There you can schedule a FREE 45-Min Spiritual Care and Coaching Call. During our time together, I want to hear about the challenges you’re facing and pray over you. After the call, we can work together to determine how best to move forward to provide you or your team with the HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH you need in your life and ministry.
Also on the site, you can Partner with Kicking at the Darkness through becoming a Prayer Partner or to donate to the ministry. Our goal for 2022 is to have the solid support of 300 people who love ministers and the church, believe in this ministry, and who pray regularly for ministers facing challenges. Kicking at the Darkness is a registered 501(c)(3) so a gift of any amount will help provide ministry coaching and spiritual care at minimal cost to individual church leaders. You gift will help me, help them.
I am also on all the socials. Connect with me. Let’s be friends!
To wrap up, a few years ago I was I was in the thick of it. Life was good… but it was hard. We had a young family – two kids 3 and 1. It seemed like every 18 months some major crisis was happening in our church leadership and body. I had recently transitioned from one position to another. Someone encouraged me to reach out to a coach who specialized in helping small church pastors. This coach helped me in so many ways both personally and professionally. He listened, gave counsel, and encouraged me. He empowered me to make decisions and take responsibility for my life and ministry. My circumstances didn’t change… but my perspective radically shifted. Where I didn’t think things could ever get better, I found the HOPE to believe that would. Where I couldn’t see a way forward, I discovered the CLARITY I needed to move ahead. Where I needed to grow my capacity, I gained STRENGTH in those areas.
This is what I want for you and your ministry. I know a significant number of ministers are looking to exit ministry all together right now. If that’s you, let’s talk before you make that decision. If you have it in you to go another season… let’s partner together to make a your next season your BEST SEASON in life and ministry.
Today I want to talk with you about STRESS. I don’t know everything there is to know about stress but I do know 3 things:
1) There is no such thing as a stress-free life.
Jesus never promised us a stress-free life. In fact he promised just the opposite. In John 16:33, Jesus tells us, “In this world you will have trouble.” There really is only one thing you can count on in life and that is stress. (Death and taxes being two of the biggest offenders.) That’s the bad news.
The good news is found in Jesus’ promise: “I’ve told you these things, so that in me you may have peace… But take heart, I have overcome the world.”
Each of us have dealt with our own fair share of stress this year and unfortunately, as long as we draw breath on this planet, we will continue deal with stress. Jesus says that peace isn’t found when all of the stresses of life are gone. He tells us that we can have peace in Him even IN THE MIDST of the stress. The old saying is true: Know Jesus. Know Peace.
2) Even on its best day, leadership is full of stress. We can all swap stories from our most stressful days in leadership. Some days I look back on and think, “There was no classroom, book, or conversation that could have prepared me for having to deal with that particular issue.” (Ask me about the truck left in our parking lot overnight and the portrait of his beloved painted on the tailgate.) Tony Morgan’s book on leadership called, “Killing Cockroaches,” is the perfect picture of what it is like to deal with all the negative stresses in our lives and ministries. Headaches and pressure points arise from out of nowhere and we have to deal with them as fast as they come at us whether we want to or not. It’s just how it is.
There are the bad days of stress, but there are also the good days. Even on the good days, we experience stress. It is stressful to check in with our people. It can be taxing to lead and serve those whom we love and care for. People and their issues can be frustrating at every stage of life – babies, kids, teens, adults, and retirees. However, we get to share in their lives and help guide them from where they currently are to where God wants them be. We get to work side-by-side with them to build the Kingdom. It is rarely easy, but there are times when the stress pays off.
3) You’re never going to get it all done. You’re never going to get it all done. (I know I typed that twice.) One of the greatest sources of stress is our never-ending to-do list.
In Leadership: There is always going to be another problem. There is always going to be another budget issue. There is always going to be another meeting. There is always going to be another email to write. As long as you are in leadership, there is always going to be something else to do.
In Ministry: There is always going to be somebody else to reach for Christ. There is always going to be somebody else to disciple. There is always going to be another pastoral care visit. As long as you are in ministry, there is always going to be something to do.
In Life: There is always going to be another project to complete. There is always going to be a parenting issue to handle. There will always be relationships that need nurturing, repairing, or reviving. There is always going to be mistakes made. There is always going to be times when grace must be administered wether we have the strength or not. As long as you are alive, there is always going to be something to do.
Four Things You Can Do to Help You Manage Stress Today
The question you should be asking is not, “How can I eliminate stress from my life?” Instead, ask yourself, “How should I manage stress in my life?” You will never be able to eliminate stress but, you can minimize the consequences of stress in your life by engaging in some Stress Management Best Practices. Try these four on for size:
Be Still. Take a few minutes and simply be still. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb, close your door, and just sit, breathe, and simply be present. It will be ok. The world will not stop spinning. They will call back… they always do. I use an app called Headspace to help me meditate for 10 minutes each morning before I start my day. By pausing at the very beginning of the day it helps me focus and prepare mentally, physically, and emotional for whatever may lay ahead.
Pray. I can’t think of someone in scripture who had to deal with the stresses of leadership, ministry, and life more than David. Whether he was facing down literal giants like Goliath or the giant sin in his own heart; dodging spears from King Solomon or enemies on a battle field; herding sheep or wrestling bears David turned to God in prayer. No matter what you are facing today, God knows and would love for you to share your stresses with him. The book of Psalms is filled with prayers for every season and emotion. If you can’t find the right words to express what is on your heart, David has you covered.
Be Thankful. Paul tells us in Eph 5:15-20, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit,speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” We live is very stressful times but there is a simple antidote for feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out: Thankfulness. Instead of listening to Nirvana or Jason Aldean or Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo and the Morning Sports Crew on your way to work, turn off the radio and turn up the praise in your own heart. Simply begin each morning by listing at least 3 things you are grateful for. Keep a running list in your cleared or reminder app and refer back to it during the day when you are tempted to let stress steal your focus.
Rest. I’m giving you permission to rest. Don’t burn the candle at both ends. Rest is an important component to your health and your long-term ability to lead. I don’t get sick very often but, when I do, there is usually a direct correlation to the fact that I have not been sleeping as much as I should have. We all have seasons where we don’t get enough rest but when those seasons turn into eras, you are flirting with disaster. Go to bed 10 minutes earlier tonight. Put down your iDevice or turn off the tv. Use one of your vacation days to push pause. None of us would violate the 10 Commandments by murdering someone or building a golden calf to worship on the weekends. However, most of us have gotten way to comfortable violating the Sabbath and forgoing the rest that God has commanded for our lives. If your life has gotten out of rhythm, my bet is that you’ve for to long without getting enough rest.
BONUS: Want to find some rest “outside the box?” Studies have shown that taking a 15-20min “power nap” can have amazing results on your productivity, outlook, and overall health. Leadership guru, Michael Hyatt, has written a few compelling articles on the WHY behind taking a few minutes to rest in your day and HOW you can begin taking advantage of this powerful tool. Check out his article, 5 Reasons You Should Take a Nap Everyday or listen to his podcast on The Secret Power of Naps.
Exit Question:
What do you do to help manage the stress in your life? Leave your favorite Stress Management Best Practices in the comments and share what you do to manage the stress in leadership, ministry, and life.
When it comes to the mission and vision of an organization, most leaders pour a tremendous amount of time, energy, and attention into identifying and pursuing a mission, vision, and strategies that ensure organizational success. However, less attention is often given to the one thing that will ultimately make or break your organization: Culture. Peter Drucker once observed that no matter how compelling your vision is or how aligned your strategies are, Culture is king and eats everything else for breakfast.
Your Culture is the lifeblood from which everything else is birthed. Culture is the way that the people in the organization function together… or don’t. While the mission, vision and strategies define your direction and focus, culture is the environment in which these thrive, survive, or die.
Culture happens regardless of your efforts to define it or to ignore it. This is why Culture must be intentionally discerned, defined, and developed at every level of your organization.
Discern
Culture can be found in the unwritten expectations for team members, the unspoken presuppositions for how work will be done, and shared language that the people of your organization encounter each and every work day.
In order to identify your current culture and begin working toward changing your culture for the better, a time of discernment will help you identify areas of your Culture that need to be celebrated or discarded.
Patrick Lencioni suggests 6 Critical Questions to answer as a team in order to clarify their shared Cultural Values:
Why do we exist?
How do we behave?
What do we do?
How will we succeed?
What is important, right now?
Who must do what?
Articulating, acknowledging, and aligning around the answers to these questions creates a pathway forward for your team to create a healthy, sustainable culture.
Define
When creating Value Statements that are meaningful, the team must understand how they currently function and how they wish to function at their best. Value statements such as, “We will work with Integrity.” and, “We value hard work.” are wonderful statements but they are not unique to your organization and they do not specifically identify how these values function within your team. Life.Church, a multi-site church based out of Oklahoma, communicates some of their values through clearly defined memorable and actionable statements such as these:
We always bring our best. Excellence honors God and inspires people.
We will lead the way with irrational generosity. We truly believe it is more blessed to give than to receive.
We will laugh hard, loud, and often. Nothing is more fun than serving God with people you love.
When statements about how we will function at our best are clearly defined it helps team members rally around unifying principles and values. When someone violates these standards, the team can point to the action and focus on the behaviors (not the individual themselves) that fell short of the agreed to standards. Team members become accountable and empowered as they are challenged to live up to and into clearly defined values.
Develop
In Deep & Wide, Andy Stanley details how NorthPoint Church identified specific staff values for their organization. NP began by asking the question, “If we could push a button and every staff member would do the following, what would the following be?” After a long season of discernment and defining, they named these desired behaviors Common Commitments. Stanley says, “This is a list of behaviors that we feel defines our culture.” These 6 staff behaviors that NP believes define their organizational culture are:
Take It Personally
Make It Better
Collaborate
Replace Ourselves
Stay Fit
Remain Openhanded
(For clear definitions and explanations behind these Common Commitments and how they function within the staff of NorthPoint Church, see Deep and Wide: Creating Churches Unchurched People Love to Attend pp. 347-354)
Creating clearly defined, memorable, and actionable value statements that are aligned with your mission and strategy is the first step to creating a healthier culture and leading a better team. This isn’t a one time process but a life-long organizational pursuit. Teams change, new personalities join, the vision may need to shift over time. The way your team functions today may not be how the team will need to function in the future. Regularly assessing and refining how your team operates according to your values is something that must be committed to and developed over time. Don’t rush the process. The Culture you have today wasn’t developed in a day but over time. It will take time to create a healthier Culture but know this “the One who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Advent. The season of anticipation as we await the coming Messiah. Just as the world was in darkness before Jesus stepped onto the scene so, we too, wait for his return to bring aight into our darkness.
This season Is typically filled with events and gatherings that too often stretch us past our capacity. “That’s ok,” we tell ourselves. “Once we get past the holidays we can take a breath, slow down, and recharge.” For many of us, this respite never comes. We’ve seen it in the headlines and we’ve experienced it first-hand. When a leader fails to take care of their inner life a blow-up, a break down, or a burn out soon follows.
Over the years, I have identified 7 forms of DARKNESS that keep leaders from experiencing joy, perspective, and longevity in ministry:
1) Depression/Anxiety
2) Anger/Resentment
3) Relational Issues
4) Unmet Needs/Unrealistic Expectations
5) Lack of Encouragement
6) Stress
7) Dysfunctional Systems
Over the coming days, I’ll highlight each of these issues and help us shine the Light of Jesus on your heart, soul, mind, body, and relationships. Advent begins with HOPE. Maybe you identify with one or more of these agents of Darkness. Take heart, Jesus is coming.
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33_
This means by the end of this year, 3000 more pastors will leave their ministries behind and, if this trend continues, by 2031 the church will have lost 30,000 men and women who at one time had dedicated lives to the local church.
Kicking at the Darkness wants to help stop the bleeding!
The men and women who enter into vocational ministry do so because they have a profound sense of calling. Ministry has always been stressful but ministry plus everything else right now is a recipe for pastoral burnout and ministerial malaise. Pastors are worn out and are tired because they have been caring for, serving, and leading people who are worn out and tired.
Financial constraints, limited participation, and questions about the future of the church weigh heavy on the hearts and minds of those working within our churches.
Pastors feel the weight of responsibility for the spiritual care and feeding of other people. Unlike any other profession, the boundaries between professional care and personal relationship can make it seem as though a Pastor is always in a state of caring for others around them. As a result, many ministers continually put off taking time for their own spiritual care and feeding. Many feel guilty missing a Sunday or ministry event so they put off rest and renewal for a season when it won’t seem as busy. Unfortunately, that season never arrives.
Less than half of pastors surveyed said that they have someone in their church leadership who regularly prays with them and over them concerning their own personal and professional concerns. Coupled with this is that many pastors believe they cannot ask for help from their leadership or boards because of unrealistic expectations and unreasonable responses in the past. (The State of Pastors, Barna, 2017)
Beyond the typical stories of moral breakdowns, relational blow-ups, and pastoral burnout, pastor’s families and their churches are also finding themselves dealing with something even more tragic: Suicide. Pastors are not immune to psychological, emotional, and spiritual struggles. The fallout of such a permanent and devastating event will be long lasting for everyone involved from the family left behind, to devastated church staff, to leadership and governing boards scrambling to respond, to even the average church member in the pews wracked with guilt and wrestling with questions.
Who will minister to those who minister? Who will care for those who care?
Kicking at the Darkness is ministry care for those who minister.
Pastors need someone that they can talk to about their personal and professional lives. They need a safe person outside their regular church settings who will listen objectively, encourage diligently, and direct spiritually.
Our ministry is dedicated to church leaders and teams who have a desire to be faithful and fruitful but may be finding the demands of ministry – the long hours, working with difficult people, & working inside dysfunctional systems – have lead them into seasons of frustration and fatigue. These men and women want to experience growth in their personal lives and professional responsibilities but they just need a little HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH.
Kicking at the Darkness helps leaders and teams find HOPE so that they may gain confidence in themselves and in one another.
Kicking at the Darkness helps leaders and teams get CLARITY around their goals so that they can move forward with focus and unity.
Kicking at the Darkness helps leaders and teams build STRENGTH in the most important areas of their lives so that they may experience new levels of growth and health.
How Kicking at the Darkness provides ministry care to those who minister?
We offer support for both individual ministers and ministry teams. We believe every minister and every team needs HOPE, CLARIFY, and STRENGTH. How do we do it?
1 on 1 Spiritual Care
1 on 1 Spiritual Care is a bi-monthly check-in call for individual pastors to freely talk, work through their current challenges, and receive HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH to continue ministry heart, soul, mind, and body. Pastors will have 2 dedicated calls during each month plus the ability to connect if questions or needs arise between sessions.
All Staff Spiritual Care
All Staff Spiritual Care allows for church organizations to provide their entire staff with access to Spiritual Care as needed throughout the month. Each staff member will be contacted and connected with at the beginning of each month for an initial Spiritual Care session. Phone, text message, video chat, and email access will be provided for each staff member so that everyone on staff can receive HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH all month long as needed.
Family Care
Ministry is a family affair and each member of a pastor’s family faces the same joy, hurts, fears, and frustrations as the one who is on the church staff. Family Care will provide a pastor and their spouse a place to share their hopes and concerns, cares and joys with a seasoned ministry couple who will listen, pray with them & for them, and guide them through their current season in ministry. Every pastor and their family could use some HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH.
Sabbath Care
Everyone needs a Sabbath. Sunday comes every single week and if a pastor isn’t able to take a Sunday away to rest and be restored… it’s not be a true vacation. The Sabbath Care package offers an in-person 2 day coaching and strategy session to help you create a Spiritual Growth Plan for the next season. After these 2 days, you can go on vacation while your Ministry Coach preaches or serves in your area of ministry the following Sunday giving you the opportunity to feel confident that ministry will be covered while you are away.
What Kicking at the Darkness can do for you?
Pastor,
You are a good pastor. When was the last time someone told you that? Ministry is one of the toughest jobs on the planet. You are on call all day, every day. Conflict isn’t a bug, it’s a feature of pastoring people. The men and woman in your church are broken and hurting… just like you. Let us help you by giving you the opportunity to share what is on your mind, what’s happening in your heart, what your soul needs, and how ministry is affecting your life personally and professionally. Kicking at the Darkness is a safe place to talk, receive encouragement, and prayer. What is the greatest challenge you are currently facing? Let’s talk.
Church Leadership,
Your church staff are rock stars. They come early and stay late. They get up for morning Bible study even though they were out late making another visit. When people come to talk with them they bring their own hurts, habits, and hang-ups with them. That means your ministry staff receive more discouragement than encouragement most days. They are afraid of messing up publicly. They are acutely aware of their own shortcomings and are worried others will be all too quick to point them out. Criticism stings and the pain lingers. Despite all this… your pastors LOVE your church. They show concern for, sacrifice all they can, and serve with everything that they are. The cost of ministry failure is extremely high. The damage done to pastors and their families, relationships within the church, and, ultimately the witness of the church is at stake. Of course the actual financial costs associated with the pre-mature exit of a minister or the dismissal that results from moral failure are real and costly they pale in comparison to the emotional and spiritual costs wrought upon pastors, their families, and churches who failed to identify struggles, address pain, and provide space and resources for proper healing and health. I know you love the men and women you shepherd and I want to encourage you to do whatever you can to provide for their personal and professional health. As you show your faithfulness to those you employ, everyone will be blessed by the fruit that occurs when ministers grow in their calling.
If you could do something, anything to help prevent anyone on your church staff from breaking down, blowing up, or burning out what would would you be willing to pay? What lengths would you go to ensure that the ministers you know and love are cared for, properly fed, and protected from further damage?
For churches to be healthy, they must be led by healthy pastors. It is the goal of Kicking at the Darkness to come alongside pastors, their families, and churches to work together and fight for the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual lives of those who are dedicated to sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ through the local church. We invite you to invest in the Kingdom of God by investing in the health and well-being of pastors.
Vision over Visibility. You see where you want go, who you want to become, what needs to change but… the pathway may be obscured. You are clear on the direction but uncertain about how to get there.
My friend Bono says that this is what occurs at the Moment of Surrender. No one likes to surrender. We like control. Control is not the way to growth. Surrender is.
Surrender to the process. Surrender to unknown. Surrender to the One who controls it all… and is good, kind, full of Grace and Truth. There’s the Vision. Ultimately, He will give you the ability to see your way through.
