Category Archives: Ethos

Conference, Discipleship, Ethos, Leadership, Ministry

Session III: The Personal Challenge

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Session III: The Personal Challenge- Who are you becoming?
5 Thoughts from Mark Batterson

1) Establish Boundaries- helps to maintain sanity
Mark doesn’t travel more than 30 night away from his family each year
Doesn’t check email on his day off
Uses all of his vacation days (owes that time away to his family)

2) Put Family First- do not sacrifice your family on the altar of ministry
One way Mark puts his family first is through his Father/Son challenge (FSM): as his son becomes a teen Mark and his son are participating in a spiritual challenge (reading the NT together), an intellectual challenge (reading books together), and a physical challenge (running a 10-k together)- all this to be intentional about raising his kids

3) Set Life Goals-
Family goals
Travel goals
Physical goals
Influence goals
Financial goals

4) Focus on personal growth- ministry comes from the outflow of your heart (true that!!!) and that is contagious to your people

5) Create Margin– breathing room
Mark takes Mon. off, schedules meeting days on Tues/Thurs, and focuses on study/prep on Wed/Fri

Personal Challenge Q&A
What does your Sabbath look like?
a) Carves out time for spiritual reading
b) Time with family (if you can discipline yourself during the week then it will create more time for you ad your family)
c) connects with wife over coffee- go through important conversations- fill each other in- calendar issues

What does your work week look like?
20 hrs (min.) for sermon prep
Learn to manage your energy- when; at what time are you at your best?

What is the most important thing you do each week?
Speed of the leader determines the speed of the team
Jud- 1) soul care; 2) strategic leading of the leadership team
Mark- 1) Team meeting- Asking the team, “Where have you experienced wins?”; 2) Sermon prep

You talked about FSM, what about your daughter?
Reading together- Chronicle of Narnia
Create open lines of communication
Shemah- as you rise, walk along the road
Notice how your kids express their love to you give insights into how the receive love

Conference, Discipleship, Ethos, Leadership, Ministry

Session II: The Vision Challenge

In session 2, Jud Wilhite of Central Christian Church in Las Vegas spoke about the need to stay on mission and to keep our people focused through vision casting.

People need to know where they are going. Over time people/churches drift. Mission —> Memorial —> Monument —> Mosque

They start On Mission. They know their purpose, why they are there. There is excitement, mystery, and challenges. They are on fire and gung ho for the mission at hand.

Then comes a time where the church moves to a time of Memorial. The past was effective and we memorialize past victories. We celebrate the past and ignore the future.

Next comes the Monument phase. This old church is now a monument to the past. Nothing has changed for years and there is no growth. I think of the great church buildings in Europe.

Next is the Mosque phase. Jud explained that he added this phase after a prominent older baptist church closed its doors and was purchased by a Muslim group and turned into a mosque.

The point is that without vision the mission dies.

Vision can unify or divide and that’s ok. People must choose between being 100% on board or moving on.

Vision Challenges:
A) Clarity of Vision– clarity is more important than inspiration
clarity in words, practices/ there is no excuse for your people to not know what the specific mission of your church is

B) Vision Consitency– Jud says that about every 30 days he is teaching/praching/reminding his people who they are and what the vision/goals of the church is

Think through applications —> How can the church as a whole apply the lessons & how can individuals personally apply the lessons —> this naturally leads to vision

C) Culture of Vision– is your church a cruise ship or a battle ship?

Cruise ship– On cruise ships people are served. They are not asked to do anything, sacrifice anything. Activities are presented to them. Behind the scenes few serve the many.

Battle ship– All hands on deck. Working together for a common mission. Training, recruiting, brotherhood, victories, adventure.

“You will have to talk about vision 1000 times more than you think you will have to.”

Vision Q & A
How do you serve under a (self-described) non visionary leader?
Gene Edwards- A Tale of 3 Kings – Which king are you? Saul, David, Absolem?
2 options- stay or leave. There is no option 3.

How do you know your vision is from God? Visioneering resources.
Read like crazy & pray like crazy. This keeps you sensitive to the Spirit of God. Pay attention to the matrix around you- the people, your passion, the timing. Ask yourself, “What am I compelled to do?”
Resources: Visioneering by Andy Stanly; Holy Discontent by Hybels

How do you bring clarity to your vision?
State of the Church address each January (at least once a year)
Ask, “What’s the next step?”
Personally stay fired up about the vision.

Conference, Discipleship, Ethos, Leadership, Ministry

Session I: The Motivation Challenge

This week I’ll be posting my notes from the Unplugged Conference. There were five sessions on the greatest challenges leaders must face and I’ll post a different challenge each day this week. We’ll start with Session 1: The Motivation Challenge.

I wish that we had discussed ministry motivation more when I was in college. In fact there are two sides to the motivation challenge. There is so much power behind figuring out, focusing on, and remembering the reasons why we do what we do.

We concentrated on Matthew 10:5-16 when discussing the challenge of motivation.

“Jesus sent out (the twelve) with the following instructions: “Do not go among the Gentiles or enter any town of the Samaritans. Go rather to the lost sheep of Israel. As you go, proclaim this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near. ’Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.

“Do not get any gold or silver or copper to take with you in your belts—no bag for the journey or extra shirt or sandals or a staff, for workers are worth their keep. Whatever town or village you enter, search for some worthy person there and stay at that person’s house until you leave. As you enter the home, give it your blessing. If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. Truly I tell you, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town.

“I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.”

“Go”– go out into the world rather than expect them to come to us

“Freely you have received, freely give.”– Minister out of the joy that you’ve been given. Giving much returns much.

“As you enter the home, give it your blessing.” Goes back to Abraham that we are to bless the world. Mark talked about that too often we give our blessing to people/things long after we deem it worthy. Jesus told the twelve to bless first, evaluate on the go.

“shake the dust off your feet”– I know I’ve felt the need to shake off the dust after meeting with certain people or after many situations. Nothing like a good old fashioned dust shaking to get you back to the things that matter.

Innocent as Doves
“Innocent as Doves”– Do things with the right motivation; continually checking the motives behind your actions

My will vs. THY WILL 1Sam. 14 & 15 – In ch. 14, Saul builds an alter to the LORD. In 15, he builds an alter to himself. In one chapter Saul’s motivation for leadership went from honoring the LORD to honoring himself. It happens that quickly.

The Comparing Game with distort your heart and lead you down one of two ways. First, you will compare yourself to people less talented and gifted than you are. This will lead you to believe that you are better than everyone else- we call that Pride.

Secondly, you’ll compare yourselves to people who are more talented, more gifted, and have better resources than you leading you to believe that life’s not fair and how you really deserve all that they have– we call that Jealousy.

Kill the selfish ambition inside of you.

Shrewd as Snakes
“Shrewd as snakes”– Like the men of Issachar. Men who knew the times and knew what to do. (1Chr. 12:32)

Definition: Outsmart the enemy at its own game; understanding the times; redeeming culture rather than consuming it blindly.

Contextual Intelligence– learning the times an discovering ways to harness new media for the kingdom. Podcasts, social networks, webcasts, invite cards

“Church is a tag-team sport.” When people bring friends/family to services they are tagging the leadership to answer questions, point to God, honor Jesus. Then each week leaders tag their people to move out from the doors of the building and take the message of the kingdom to the streets. “Tag you’re it.”

Discipleship, Ethos, Leadership, Life, Ministry, Risk, Summer, Theology, Youth Ministry

Poor Management

One thing that I have always prided myself on is my ability to manage my schedule in a healthy manner. I’m no where near perfect but I have been acutely aware of the need to schedule and manage my time while in full-time ministry. I do not want to burn out early and I do not want it said of me that I ran a poor and short race (ha).

It is easier to manage my schedule in the fall and spring. The students are in school. Athletic events and church events are usually scheduled months in advance and so I can work around these things. I try and find moments to disengage from my ministry hat and proudly wear and display my husband hat and my Micheal hat.

I covet Thursday nights with my wife and place fortified barriers of reminders to all that I am devoting this night and this time to my family. Years down the road it is things like this that will help me prioritize my family over my ministry.

For myself I do a lot of reading, personal development, movies, conferences, and concerts. I am a sucker for all of these things and they each help me relax, focus, and lead more effectively.

But now it is summer! Mission trips, camps, and late nights have pushed my schedule to the max. I have been forgetting that I must manage my time or it will manage me.

Example:
Last week I left on Wednesday for the Unplugged conference. The plan was to return home mid-evening Friday and then drive my teens to camp in Arkansas. What really happened was the my flight was delayed. I returned to Dallas late-night, drove to Arkansas the next day, and taught 12 classes in four days. We drove home Thursday evening. Whew! I was tired all week. These were all good things but I could have planned better for rest.

Instead I agreed to play golf early Friday morning! Great time with friends, my poor playing, but good putting all made for an enjoyable morning but still I was beat.

Then I had scheduled a fund raiser car wash for our mission trip. All saturday morning. In the heat. Under the sun. We met our fund raising goal (praise God!) but the thoughts of weariness plagued me all afternoon.

This was just two weeks of my summer. Could you imagine what would happen if this continued for another couple of months? What if I kept up this pace and this schedule for the rest of the year? This type of life is unsustainable. The human body is not meant to go this hard and this fast for extended periods of time. When I am this tired and worn down I am unable to be fully present with the people and events in my life. I’m on auto-pilot and I fear that I am missing out on important connections.

How are you managing your time? Are you giving where you need to give? Are you taking time to receive from God? Your family?

Youth ministers aren’t the only ones who suffer from over scheduling. Like Dave Ghrol of Foo Fighters asks, “Is someone getting the best of you?” If the answer to this question is “No” then take a long hard look at your schedule and see what need adjusting, what needs more focus, or what needs removing.

Collecting Experiences, Conferences, Discipleship, Ethos, Leadership, Ministry, Resources

Unplugged Conference

Unplugged Day 1 is in the books. Registration began at 9am this morning and we wrapped up with dinner on the national mall at around 6pm. What a day it was!!!

There are only about 50 ministers here for the conference which has made for a very personal and informal (in a good way) meeting. I have never been to a conference where we all went around the room and introduced ourselves. Definitely a new experience for me.

Mark began by telling us his prayer for Unplugged. First, he prayed that there would be some divine connections made between us. Without doubt I had some great introductions and some divine conversations today.

Secondly, Mark prayed for some paradigm shifts to happen. Not sure I experienced any shifts today but I did get plenty of clarity. I think that being able to see your paradigms clearly can cause you to shift a little.

And finally, Mark prayed that we would walk away from the conference with some God ideas. I do believe that “1 God Idea is better than 1000 good ideas.” No doubt.

The focus of the conference is to look at The 5 Greatest Challenges That Leaders Face. We looked at the first 3 today:

The Motivation Challenge
The Vision Challenge
The Personal Challenge

I am excited to see what tomorrow holds.

Discipleship, Ethos, Experience, Ministry, My Life, Prayer

The Jar of Anger

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10 years ago I was one angry dude. I had more than just a temper. I was mean and surly at the drop of a hat. I was a bit like an emotionally volatile Tasmanian Devil and I cared little about what damage was left in my wake.

The people who bore the brunt of my anger were my parents and my friends. I punched and kicked holes in walls and I even smashed a window once. My anger issues got so bad that I would blank out sometimes. I would remember some of the things I would do or say but there are whole chunks of crazy that my friends would have to tell me about later. It was a miserable experience.

I could make excuses and say that I was bullied or picked on as a kid. I could tell you that nobody liked me and I ate worms. I could make excuses and write off my bad behavior on my teenage hormones. However by say those things I am abdicating responsibility.

The bottom line is I was selfish and immature. I wouldn’t get my way and I flew off the handle. I felt slighted and I would want the world to know about it. Plain and simple.

My anger trapped me in destructive behaviors and stunted me emotionally. I ruined opportunities for relationship growth with friends and family all because I wanted to throw hissy fits. Real mature huh?

Today it is a different story. I have better control of my emotions and I rarely, if ever, raise my voice in anger. My wife has never seen me act out in anger. My friend’s wife, who met me after my change, told me that she has a hard time believing that I was ever angry. She has said that she thinks that we are making up stories from high school. I told her that we could never make up anything that ridiculous. I am thankful that God has smashed the jar of anger that was trapping me. I get a kick out of how great and powerful God is that he has transformed me so much that people have a hard to believing that my old way of living was even real. God be praised!

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:12-14)

Today, while I don’t put my fist into walls or throw chairs at $2000 projectors, I still have to be on guard. Anger tries to creep back into my life through impatience, pride, and frustration. Like Paul, I will forget what is behind me though. I will press on. May his strength be evident in my weakness. May he continue to smash jars in my life.

May he smash the jars in your life that keep you from truly living.

Peace my friends.

Discipleship, Ethos, Experience, Leadership, Ministry, My Life

Breaking Jars

I graduated from high school ten years ago this week. In May of 1998 I was an 18 year old kid who thought he knew everything there was to know. Now I’m a 28 year old (kid) and the only thing I know for certain is that I know very little. I am still trying to work it all out and I marvel at every time God gives me some tiny insight and I pray that his lessons will stick in my puny little brain.

As I look back over my (short) life I have been fortunate enough to break a few jars that were holding me back from maturing in one way or another. I spent too much time inside these jars allowing them to stunt my growth and causing me to become spiritually/emotionally deformed. Again, it is only by the grace of God that I was able to recognize these jars and it was only by his strength that I was able to crack open these jars and begin the slow, steady progress of being remolded in the image of Jesus.

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:12-14)

Probably the biggest jar I have had to escape from is The Jar of Anger.

to be continued…

Ethos, Leadership, Life, Ministry, Resources

Are You In A Jar?

I read a story that hasn’t been far from my mind since I encountered it last week. The reference escapes me and I can’t be sure of the actual-factuals of the story yet I have been constantly evaluating my self, my habits, and the people/systems that I come in contact with in light of this parable about growth. The story goes like this:

There was once a pumpkin farmer. The farmer worked all season long preparing is fields for his crop. He planted the seeds, watered when necessary, and walked the field everyday removing debris and anything that might cause harm to his precious pumpkins. One day, while the pumpkins were still very small he came across a mason jar out in the field. Curious as to what might happen, he placed one of the pumpkins inside the jar to continue growing. Time went on and the pumpkins were now ready for the harvest. What a harvest it was! This year the farmer had grown some of the largest and healthiest pumpkins ever. However, there was one problem. When the farmer reached the pumpkin he had placed into the jar he was shocked by what had happened. Rather than growing large and cracking/destroying the jar, the pumpkin conformed to the inside of the jar. While it had been receiving the same nutrients and nurturing the other pumpkins had, the jar had become a prison for this little pumpkin. It was 1/3 the size of the others and its shape was that of a mason jar. Rather than overcoming the challenge, the poor pumpkin’s growth was stunted.

I have been haunted by the idea of being trapped inside a jar all week.

What is the jar that is trapping you or your business/church/school? It could be a personal jar of bad habits or laziness that has trapped you. It could be poor leadership (on your part or on the part of others) that keeps your business/church/school from achieving all that it should. It could be any number of factors that are hindering you and your team. The question is, are you strong enough to name the jar?

Name the jar, call out what’s keeping you from growing, and then smash that sucker to pieces. Good luck and God speed.

Discipleship, Ethos, Experience, Film & Theology, Ministry, Popular Culture

Choose Wisely

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“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.” (Matthew 13:44-46 TNIV)

It is Indiana Jones Week at the Felkers. We watched Raiders last Saturday and we are trying to squeeze in Temple of Doom tonight (somehow). Tomorrow we will watch Crusade. I am not sure my wife has ever seen The Last Crusade so we will definitely have to watch that one before seeing Crystal Skull on Thursday. Whew! So much action, so little time!

I love watching Dr. Henry Jones run, swing, and punch his way through these adventures chasing after “priceless” pieces of antiquity. There isn’t a risk he isn’t willing to take and we, the audience, cheer him on every step of the way.

Scripture tells us that the kingdom of God can be compared to these great treasures. In fact, the kingdom of God is the greatest treasure of all. In the parables above, Jesus says that when we encounter the kingdom we should treat it like the world’s greatest treasure and that we should do whatever it takes to obtain it. The men in his stories sold all they had just to get their treasure.

Do you realize that we trade the glory and freedom of living in the kingdom for mere trinkets everyday? It should be the other way around!

Spend some time today and meditate on how great the kingdom of God is and what is standing in the way of you obtaining it.

Discipleship, Ethos, Experience, Faith in Action, Leadership, Ministry, Wrestling With Scripture

Curveball

Just when you think you’ve got everything together something flies in and obliterates the wall of security that you’ve fashioned around your self. It could be in your home life, business, relationships, church life- every area of your life is fair game for Satan to throw a curveball at you high and inside. It is in your reaction to the curveball that speaks to your innermost self and screams volumes as to who you put your faith into.

What curveball is life throwing at you right now?

What’s your reaction?

I have found comfort in some passages from Isaiah this weekend (44-46). They remind me that the things of this earth- blessing and curses, triumphs and disasters, good times and bad times- are all temporal whereas my God in now and forever. He is a constant guide and constant comfort. He alone is true and he alone is faithful.

With that I can take what ever is thrown at me- big or small, huge or insignificant- because I am not alone.

And guess what? Neither are you.