The Jar of Anger

10 years ago I was one angry dude. I had more than just a temper. I was mean and surly at the drop of a hat. I was a bit like an emotionally volatile Tasmanian Devil and I cared little about what damage was left in my wake.

The people who bore the brunt of my anger were my parents and my friends. I punched and kicked holes in walls and I even smashed a window once. My anger issues got so bad that I would blank out sometimes. I would remember some of the things I would do or say but there are whole chunks of crazy that my friends would have to tell me about later. It was a miserable experience.

I could make excuses and say that I was bullied or picked on as a kid. I could tell you that nobody liked me and I ate worms. I could make excuses and write off my bad behavior on my teenage hormones. However by say those things I am abdicating responsibility.

The bottom line is I was selfish and immature. I wouldn’t get my way and I flew off the handle. I felt slighted and I would want the world to know about it. Plain and simple.

My anger trapped me in destructive behaviors and stunted me emotionally. I ruined opportunities for relationship growth with friends and family all because I wanted to throw hissy fits. Real mature huh?

Today it is a different story. I have better control of my emotions and I rarely, if ever, raise my voice in anger. My wife has never seen me act out in anger. My friend’s wife, who met me after my change, told me that she has a hard time believing that I was ever angry. She has said that she thinks that we are making up stories from high school. I told her that we could never make up anything that ridiculous. I am thankful that God has smashed the jar of anger that was trapping me. I get a kick out of how great and powerful God is that he has transformed me so much that people have a hard to believing that my old way of living was even real. God be praised!

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:12-14)

Today, while I don’t put my fist into walls or throw chairs at $2000 projectors, I still have to be on guard. Anger tries to creep back into my life through impatience, pride, and frustration. Like Paul, I will forget what is behind me though. I will press on. May his strength be evident in my weakness. May he continue to smash jars in my life.

May he smash the jars in your life that keep you from truly living.

Peace my friends.